The Ricks Experiment

Name Calling

2012-01-22T14:12:00.002-07:00

Alright world, we think that we are ready to announce our second child's name. We reserve the right to change this in the future, but it's been sticking pretty well for about a month now, and Avey is even on board, so we believe we have a winner. Our son will be henceforth known as

Carver Cope Ricks

Or, as many have already begun to affectionately call him, "CCR". Naturally, the middle and last names are family names, and the first name is what we have decided will describe him for the rest of his life. When I close my eyes and attempt to envision the boy in the near future, I imagine him searching high and low for some relatively sharp object with which he might sculpt some shape out of another. He and I will probably spend our evenings out on the porch, watching the sun set, whittling away at some twigs he found during his daily exploits, talking of life, puppies, bouncy balls, and the best ways to sneak a cookie without Kira knowing about it.

It's also a distinct possibility that he will never once take a knife to a piece of wood, of course, so I've come up with a few other ways for him to earn his first name. He could theoretically carve the following:

Butter with a dull knife
Pumpkins on or near Halloween
Cheese, although he is more likely to "slice" such a thing. We considered naming him "Slicer" for this reason (a pretty cool name too), but that seemed destined to turn him into a serial killer.
Features into a snowman
Certain precious metals out of rock - after all, his father is a UTEP Miner.
An empire into smaller, more manageable states

The list could go on and on, but we're fairly certain that one or more of these will be appropriate, thus justifying our name choice. In any case, we are excited to welcome him into the world and our family!

Letting Go

2012-01-15T20:10:00.001-07:00

The day before we left for Christmas Break, we decided to take some sweets to our neighbors upstairs. There lives a girl a few years older than Avey. She, having no siblings of her own, has been very kind to Avey whenever they've interacted. Just a few minutes after we'd returned from their place, the mother knocked at our door and asked if Avey would like her daughter's old play kitchen she no longer uses. Avey has a small, plastic, pathetic excuse for a play kitchen that we had acquired in front of (I'm ashamed to say) the dumpster at an apartment a few years ago. The neighbor's kitchen is a much larger, more colorful, probably more sanitary work of art; just the right size for Avey, complete with a refrigerator, faucet, hanging racks for pot holders, and even a play cordless phone. Needless to say, Avey jumped at the opportunity to upgrade. Or so we thought...

Avey Requested a Special Hairdo

After Avey had transferred all of her toy food and plastic dinnerware to the new kitchen, we began to talk of parting with her old kitchen. Right about then we could hear the Four Horsemen galloping closer, and the moon must have turned to blood, because it was undoubtedly the end of the world.

Apparently we had misjudged the situation. Avey had not considered replacing her old, eyesore-of-a-toy-kitchen that is even missing several pieces. She simply thought she would take part in the most pleasant of American pastimes: amassing extraneous stuff.

We, still shooting for those Parents-of-the-Century trophies, tried to conjure up a plan. How could we win Avey's acquiescence to ridding ourselves of the elbowroom vampire? We tried bribes with new toys, reason and logic, and even tried playing on her sympathies by explaining that it could be recycled and made into new toys for other boys and girls who have none. We were striking out left and right. We even considered for a moment hiding it until she forgot before we could disburden ourselves thereof. However, as Kira learned after giving away a doodle pad without Avey's express written consent and then experiencing her wrath, Avey forgets nothing (except occasionally to use the potty before it is too late).

We finally relented, and offered to store it at my grandmother's until I graduate and get a house where we can have enough room for every item she will ever own, have given to her, create, build, find laying in a ditch, or dig out of the mud.

We're taking extra caution to take out the trash only when she's sleeping lest she find some sentimental value in the eggshells from breakfast.

Chronicity

2012-01-08T20:10:00.001-07:00

We all know that Avey is fond of games. She especially loves role-playing games, where each player has a certain part to enact. Several months ago, she and I came up with a few random games that she still loves to experience again and again these days. We go through one of them about every week these days. I think these are worthy of posting for future reference when she's much older.

The first game is the Doctor Game:

Avey touches Daddy's nose, and it makes a beeping sound.
Taken aback, Daddy tests this new phenomenon by touching his nose by himself. His disbelief is outdone only by Avey's giggles as he finds that his nose does indeed beep upon contact with his finger.
After a few more trials and exaggerated anxiety over this bizarre finding, Avey suggests through her laughter that we should go to the doctor to see if he can help.
We are then instantly transported to a doctor's office where I then have to fill the role of both Doctor and histrionic patient while Avey attempts to be the supportive daughter during this uncertain time. The script usually goes something like this:

Dr. [somewhat annoyed] - "Oh, hello again Mr. Ricks. What seems to be the problem this time?"
Daddy [full of theatrics] - "Doctor! You have to help me! I don't know what's wrong!"
Dr. [fighting the urge to roll his eyes] - "You don't say."
Daddy - "Yes I do! It's happening again Doc! Every time somebody touches my nose, it makes this ominous beeping sound!"
Dr. [playing along] - "Oh yes. I've seen this before. Let's take a look."

The doctor (I) inspects Daddy's (my) nose. Sure enough, the beep takes place as soon as the contact does. Daddy looks desperately to the doctor for any hope of a cure.

The doctor pretends to think for a moment and says - "Yes, I can help you. You see, Mr. Ricks, the beeping noise is coming from your mouth."
Daddy - "Yes, yes! But what does that mean?"
Dr. - "Well, it means that you are making the sound."
Daddy [confused] - "Okay."
Dr. - "So just stop making the noise with your mouth whenever anybody touches it."
Daddy [cautiously] - "So you're saying that if I just stop making the noise with my mouth, my nose won't beep any more?"
Dr. - "Yes, that's right. That will be $200."

Naturally, the more we go through the scenario, Avey has taken on more of the role of trying to convince Daddy that he has the power to stop the beeping at any time he wishes. Last time, she even tried to explain the problem to me before we went to the doctor, but had us go just to be sure.

Another that Avey loves in particular is known as Calling Vic.

Avey climbs onto my back, but tells me to "not remember that [she's] climbing on [me]." I obey, as always.
As I walk around the house, oblivious to the 34 pound hitchhiker wrapped around my neck, Avey begins to make little squeaking noises.
I finally catch on that something is not quite right, so I venture into the bathroom to catch a glimpse of the cause of these noises in the mirror.
As soon as I flip on the light, I scream in terror to see that I've become host to a small human girl. She laughs hysterically.
She suggests that I call Vic.
I then play the role of Vic, an exterminator, as well as myself.

Vic [with a southern accent] - "Vic's Extermination."
Daddy [as if I'm being attacked by an alligator] - "Vic, you gotta help me! It's back!"
Vic [dryly] - "Is that you again Mr. Ricks?"
Daddy - "There's no time, Vic! Get over here quick!"
Vic [obviously unhurried] - "I'm on my way."

Vic arrives at the door. I let him in.

Daddy - "Oh Vic! Thank goodness! Can you see it? It's right here on my back!"
Vic [unimpressed] - "Yes sir, I see it."
Daddy - "Well, what is it? Does it have sharp teeth? Is it drinking my blood? Has it stung me yet?"
Vic - "No sir. Actually, I'm pretty sure this is your daughter."
Daddy [in disbelief] - "No! It can't be!"
Vic - "Yes sir, I think it is."

Daddy looks more closely in the mirror. Further inspection reveals that, yes, it is indeed Avey.

Daddy [embarrassed] - "Oh."

I let Avey down off of my back.

Vic - "That'll be $50."

For some reason these games never get old to her. I bet it's mostly because she loves to watch me embarrass myself, all the while knowing better. Hopefully these games will still be fun to her in 50 years when senility sinks in and it's no longer a game.

On Laxation

2012-01-01T16:42:00.004-07:00

Avey's latest obsession has been going on for several weeks now, and is (hopefully) at its peak. I've been hesitant to write about it on the web, but think it deserves some documentation. So what better way to kick off another year of The Ricks Experiment than by writing about the process of defecation?

Yes, Avey's latest hobby is to see how many times she can say the word "poopy" in a sentence. Sometimes she'll change it up and throw in a "pee pee" or a "bum", but her favorite, by far, is "poopy". We may be sitting at the dinner table, getting dressed, playing a game, or any other activity, and Avey will have an urge to blurt out the word of questionable appropriateness. I think she finds joy in the small dose of rebellion it involves - she knows it's kind of a dirty word that one would never say in church, for example, so she gets that much more joy out of saying it and getting the predictable reactions of disgust from everyone to whom she says it. Of course, I'm guilty of laughing nearly half the time because it shows up in the most random places; a few weeks ago, after telling her a bedtime story, I kissed her on the forehead, told her I love her, and moved toward the door before finally saying, "Have sweet dreams." To this, she responded with, "Have sweet dreams of poopy!" barely able to form the words through her uncontrollable belly laugh. I couldn't help but laugh along with her.

I keep trying to reassure myself that this is just a phase, but after our trip to Colorado for the Holidays, I'm not so sure. A wonderful quality of all of my siblings is that they are naturally good at relating to young children. They have a gift for coming down (and often staying down) at a child's level of cognition and processing. While this trait is wonderful for helping Avey to feel among peers, it has also served to reinforce her love of bathroom humor. Avey introduced her interest in the latest stage of the digestive process to my siblings during a meal, and they not only permitted discussion of it, but took it to strange new levels. Avey particularly enjoys substituting "poopy" at random places in her favorite children's songs (e.g., "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Poopy had a very shiny poopy" and so on). Well, this got the creative juices flowing in certain members of my family, with whom I share much of my DNA by the way, and they came up with all sorts of hilarious, if somewhat troubling, contexts in which one might replace a noun or adjective with any number of references to human excrement. Yes, I come from proud stock, don't I? I guess it should be no surprise that Avey finds this kind of activity so engaging - she is related to the best, after all.

Perhaps she, like the rest of the Ricks clan, will eventually learn to overcome the temptation to gross out every single person she meets - at least most of the time.

2 for 2

2011-12-25T12:02:00.001-07:00

All votes are in! We are having a baby boy on or around March 11, 2012! So far Kira and I are 2 for 2 on guessing the gender of our children. We were pretty certain that Avey would be a girl, and were guessing on a boy for this one, so we're undefeated this far in the game. We're very excited, and have begun the long process of choosing names.

On another note, Merry Christmas! We're staying with Kira's family this time, and it has been a lot of fun. Avey has more cousins here than she knows what to do with. Last night they acted out the Nativity story. Avey, being the only girl who can walk and follow instructions among the cousins, played the role of Mary, and did a beautiful job.

Avey Plays Mary

She was quite insistent that we have a real baby in the manger, but the closest one in the house is a girl and has not felt well, so we suggested we substitute a doll. Avey turned her nose up to the idea, so I suggested we use her little penguin doll, Wheezy (a la Toy Story 2). She loved the idea, so this year the shepherds left their flock to worship a stuffed penguin.

Wheezy's 5 Minutes of Fame

It's so wonderful to be home for Christmas. We'll just have to catch up on sleep when school starts back up.

The Guessing Game

2011-12-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

Avey is very excited for Christmas. She has been going through a wide range of emotions as the celebration draws near:

Blissful

Dysthymic

Homicidal

The moods tend to shift with her candy cane intake, so once we get that regulated things should smooth out. In the meantime, it is time for everyone's favorite game - the Guess the Gender of Our Next Child Game!

We have an appointment to learn the gender tomorrow (assuming he or she isn't too shy), and we'll post the results in a few days (to allow for a few more votes). If you're really dying to know, you can call us tomorrow evening. In the meantime, take a close look and let us know if you think that's a boy or a girl inside there:

Kira as of Today

Whatever it is, he or she has been kicking and punching up a storm in there. I wouldn't think it possible to have anger issues before even entering the world, but this one has me wondering. I should probably have a punching bag waiting at the hospital for when the child emerges, lest he or she knock out a nurse.

Merry Christmas!

Chaos

2011-12-11T20:27:00.001-07:00

Avey is a marvelously creative child, not to mention energetic. We have been trying to come up with outlets - uh, I mean ways to encourage her creativity and energy - and Kira discovered one that fits both fields; a free dance class! Avey has come home a couple of times and shown me her dance games, where I have to mirror all of her movements, at least until she collapses in a giggle fit. They had their public debut last night, after knowing about it for only 3 practices.

Even though the title makes light of their synchronization, I think they did very well considering the preparation time and, most especially, average age of dancer. Say what you may about their technical shortcomings, if this video doesn't put a smile on your face you have no soul.

Winter Madness

2011-12-04T19:29:00.001-07:00

I feel so betrayed. I moved here under the assumption that Texas is 72 degrees Fahrenheit during the 9 months that it isn't scorching. I was grossly misled. Not only has it dropped below room temperature outdoors, but nights here (and even most days) have digressed to jacket weather. Two days this last week I felt compelled to put on a near full-size coat. Shocking, I know. Luckily, as soon as we moved here Kira talked me out of cutting up all of our winter clothing for a massive stockpile of cleaning rags (perhaps some day...), so we still have all of our winter attire. However, I still am not in a position where I feel I can trust the Lone Star State and all of the stereotypes I hold so dearly. I even met someone the other day who does not own a truck or a firearm! She's not from here, but she's still lived here a while, so I'm really confused.

Avey Decked the Hall with Santa's Sleigh "Landing" Gently. He's Gonna Need a Chiropractor After This!

Here are a few of Avey's latest gems:

If you recall the Darn Hand, he has been alive and well since his debut. The other night at dinner, Avey was playing with him, taunting him to tickle her, and then scolding him for doing so. After some time, Darn Hand decided that he would wait until she was not paying attention, and then attack his prey. Avey asked what he was doing, to which he replied (with Dad as translator) that he was waiting until she didn't expect it. Avey waited a while and then said, confusing the verb, "Darn Hand, tickle me because I'm not existing!"
One morning this week I had Avey set up to watch something on the television to keep her occupied while I showered. I came out to find her on the couch, holding her foot in front of her face, licking it from heel to toe as if it was a 3-scoop ice cream cone. Not meaning to pry, I asked her what she was doing. She looked at me with a little smile and said, "I wanted to see how flexible I am." This is where we parents say "whatever" and put a little money aside for future institutionalization.
Avey has been scoring treats in Primary class since we moved here. She has always been quite generous and thoughtful by saving some of her treats to share with us. Today when Kira went to pick her up from Primary, Avey was holding a small bag of cookies and announced excitedly that she had saved some crumbs for us! It is the thought that counts after all.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T14:53:00.001-07:00

What a wonderful holiday to spend with family! We had a great time running around town and gorging on anything that was edible. It really whetted our appetites for holiday and home though, so now we're counting down the days until Christmas.

Enjoying the Meal

Avey was quite the character during the big meal. She didn't want to try any of the fancy foods, so we practically had to force feed her. She was quite impressed with the centerpiece and the large table. She announced to everybody during the meal that we could pass something all the way around the table, so she picked out a plastic green pepper from the centerpiece and passed it counter clockwise, calling on each diner to tell us all what he or she was thankful for. It was spontaneous and cute, and may have sparked a new tradition of the "Thanksgiving Pepper".

Avey with the Thanksgiving Pepper

The unfortunate news is that we are now in the final semester stretch for me, meaning finals! What this also means is that most of the students in the statistics class (for which I am a teaching assistant) are beginning to realize that they have not understood anything from Day One and their only chance at passing the class is to finally start coming to my office hours. So my week is booked with homework and tutoring appointments. Yippee.

Luckily, we have a lot to be thankful for as always.

Recovering

2011-11-20T14:13:00.001-07:00

This was a pretty rough week. Avey was sick last week and was good enough to share it with me for all of this week. It hit me hardest Tuesday night, when I could not seem to get comfortable or get enough oxygen through my nose to sleep. I made my way to campus the next morning, feeling like death, when the truck died. Of course it died right then and there - why wouldn't it die right then and there? The symptoms rose suspicion of a faulty fuel pump (which wear out eventually anyway), so I had it towed to a nearby shop who confirmed the diagnosis. I slowly pushed through the rest of the day, mostly fantasizing about a warm, cozy bed. I picked up the truck about 10 minutes before my evening class was to start, but made it barely in time, only to learn that we were having our work load doubled for the last two weeks of the semester for a "bonus" exam. Yeehaw!

Avey's Interpretation of My Local Aunt

I'm still in recovery from my illness, the shock of the bill for the fuel pump, and the increasingly bothersome preparations for the end of the semester. I suppose that if I were to look on the bright side, and I mean if, I could be thankful, hence the season, that at least I got sick before my family came to town or during finals, at least we've got a shiny new fuel pump that should last another decade or two, at least the truck didn't break down on the highway when I needed to be at some important meeting, at least we got the free towing option on our insurance, and at least I'll get a chance to learn a lot more about behavioral neuropsychology than I ever wanted to.

And most importantly, at least I can spend some time searching for solutions to all these problems at the bottom of a pie dish this week.

The Big Three-Oh-My

2011-11-13T19:27:00.001-07:00

I turned 3 decades old this week. I normally do not like very big parties or much fuss about my birthday, but this year in particular I think I was trying to forget the whole thing. There's something pretty weird about that 2 turning into a 3 on the old odometer. I've gone through some experiences recently that have put my age into perspective. The juveniles I interview at the probation office often have birth dates in 1995 or thereabouts. I was in High School when they were born. We spent most of yesterday purchasing a washer and dryer - something I never thought I'd spend my weekend doing when I was younger. And the really sad thing is that I was kind of excited about it.

Avey's Card to Me

It's strange how our priorities change or don't change as we age. At the top of my list most of my life has been the obtaining of sweets, then having cool toys. Those have not really shifted at all; I always keep a nice stash of baked goods around the house, and my big present this year was a sound bar for our TV (unless you count the truck, and I count the truck).

Modeling My Spiffy New Hat

Kira and Avey (and the rest of the family) made a very nice attempt to pass this tragic time off as a celebration. I got a lot of nice phone calls and cards, got to sleep in, got to binge on take-out from my favorite Chinese place in town, and Avey even sincerely attempted to tone down her demands for a few minutes.

My Aunt Made Me This Snicker Doodle Cake with Pics of a Younger Me.

One cannot help but reflect back over the years at times like this. I think of what I've accomplished and what I have left to do, and even though the road ahead seems too short and scary sometimes, I'm just glad that I have great people by my side to nudge me along. Let's see if the next 30 are as good to me as the first.

Out With the Old...

2011-11-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago I purchased a 1976 Chevy Vega, which I named "Lucille". I went through a lot with that car; a drunk driver hit it while it was parked, I installed a new fuel pump with my own two hands, had the carburetor rebuilt, drove it 550 miles to Utah to attend school where a neighbor vandalized it on two separate occasions, and I spent hours cleaning and waxing it.

Sadly, I finally realized in the last month or two that we just weren't the best match anymore. The Vega was a fun car, but it just wasn't much of a family car; no AC, two doors, and not very highway friendly. I had intended to hang on to it until I got some money to put into it, but that time still had not come. What finally got me thinking of selling it was a coworker in Colorado offering to buy it before we moved. I declined, but then found a note on it here in Texas from another gentleman interested in buying it. Eventually, I decided that it was indeed time to give it up to someone who had the time and money to give it the attention it needs. I put it on the market, and last Sunday sold it to a nice guy for $400 more than I had paid for it all those years ago.

It's strange how emotionally attached we get to things sometimes. As the man drove away in my little blue car, I couldn't help but feel like I was losing a family member. Avey was saddened too, so we helped each other through the parting, and began making plans for a new set of wheels.

After a lot of searching, we went the very next day to find a '95 Dodge Ram in good condition, and at a price we couldn't ignore. After a lot of shuttling around with our other car, trying to get the seller to be where we could make the transaction, we finally made the exchange.

Even though I still miss my Lucille, I'm very excited about the truck. The V8 Magnum engine is a whole lot more power than I'm used to with the little 4 cylinder engine from the Vega. Most importantly, we can now fit in with the other Texans (one risks ostracism without a truck).

Now we need to come up with a name for the new addition. Maybe this little exercise will get us warmed up for picking names for the new baby too.

Scare Tactics

2011-10-30T12:52:00.002-06:00

Ever since Avey really started getting into movies and such, she always showed a preference for the more intense scenes - or at least as intense as it can get in a G-rated flick. We let her watch something brief whenever we need her to hold still so we can do her hair. For a long time when we would ask her what she wanted to watch, she would respond, "Something really scary!" It seems our daughter is a bit of an adrenaline junky. It should come as no surprise, then, that she has been into Halloween in a big way. For example, she requested a "really scary" jack-o-lantern design this year:

My own creation is below, largely plagiarized from The Nightmare Before Christmas:

Of course, Avey is still a princess at heart, so she chose to be Rapunzel this year. Luckily she opted to leave her frying pan at home. I, never breaking from the formula, stuck with my nerd ensemble:

Kira chose to dress as a modest Flamenco dancer:

Lately Avey has developed an interest in all Halloween-themed monsters and spooks. She wanted me to tell her a story about zombies during dinner the other day, and begged us to wrap her up with toilet paper so she could pretend to be a mummy. She's also frightened our local relatives with her Frankenstein's monster face. It's quite terrifying, let me assure you.

Naturally, her favorite part of the season is the candy that has suddenly become available. As any good parents would do under similar circumstances, Kira and I will help her get her candy stash under control.

Man vs. Machine

2011-10-23T21:04:00.001-06:00

A few pairings come to mind here: Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel, Thomas Jefferson and the Declaration of Independence, Johann Sebastian Bach and "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring", Heath Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight, and few others. The pattern here is brilliance completing a masterpiece - where mere mortals begin to mingle with infinity, where the raging potential within our humble frames can no longer be contained and must come bursting forth, demanding to be free.

Ladies and gentlemen, we may now add to this exclusive list, "Eli and his PC".

This bee landed in my andric version of a bonnet several weeks ago when I got thinking we really need two functional computers now that I'm in school and Kira has a calling that is heavy on the paperwork. As I got looking into what's on the market these days I just wasn't finding anything that was quite right. Finally, I took to heart the old adage, "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself." After (a lot of) emails consulting my younger brother, who has tread this ground before, I took it upon myself to build a computer from scratch. Hours of research yielded the proper parts, and when they all arrived, I (panicked a little bit and then) confidently performed the nearly surgical procedure to build the perfect machine. When the moment of truth came, my heart beating like a bass drum, my palms sweating, and not a breath escaping my diaphragm for fear of the tension in the room... nothing happened. No fans turning, no lights blinking, no tones beeping. No fireworks bursting. No parades jubilating. I could feel the stroke coming on until I decided to reexamine my work before tossing the whole stupid tin can into the garbage and fleeing to my room to sulk and binge. Within a few seconds it occurred to me that I may have wrongly connected the fan's power in two places, thus preventing any current from flowing. I unplugged one end, and pulled the switch again, this time shouting to the heavens, "Give my creation life!" a la Dr. Frankenstein.

I then drank the sweet nectar of success, squeezing out every last drop into my parched mouth. And I was filled. My machine lived. It and I were instantly bound - two beings of one mind and purpose - our only goal to produce hyperbolic blog posts with slightly faster speed than had ever been experienced by humankind (or so I assume). Consider yourselves warned.

Reverse Psychology

2011-10-16T20:16:00.002-06:00

It seems that most parents resort to reverse psychology at some point in their care-taking careers. The idea is that you behave as if you want the child to do the exact opposite of what you really want her to do. Avey caught on to this about 6 months ago, but she always treats it like some kind of game (which it is, I suppose). These days she insists that we use reverse psychology with her.

At meals, for example, she calls to me from her chair while I'm preparing my meal. In that melodic, I'm-up-to-something tone of voice she sings, "Oh DAAAAaady, come look at my plAAAAaaate." I will cautiously approach, feigning ignorance at the reason for such a beckoning. Avey smiles a knowing, naughty smile and gestures toward her plate, which is apparently missing a minuscule fragment of beef, chicken, cracker, or broccoli. She directs me, "Now get mad."

I muster up an Oscar-worthy performance; "What are you doing, eating that food right in front of you! That food is just to look at! You spit that out on the floor right now!" All the while Avey giggles with delight at successfully getting my goat. I return to my preparations, and this mystical dance continues a dozen times or so until the food is finally gone.

At this point, of course, we're willing to go along with whatever, just so long as the food gets in her stomach somehow.

Rs

2011-10-09T14:53:00.001-06:00

As languages go, English is a pretty quirky one. You may have received one of those emails jesting about the inconsistencies of our plurals (e.g., mouse = mice, but house = houses), or the double and sometimes triple meanings of some words (e.g., "Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present."). But one thing that really sets English apart from other languages is the rarest phoneme in the world. The "r" sound we make every day with words like "road", and "farmer", and others is far rarer in language than even the clicking sounds found in some southern and eastern African languages. While many languages have the letter "r" in their lexicon, the English "r" makes a different sound than the Spanish or German "r", for example, and is the rarest vocalization as far as its prevalence in languages.

The unfortunate result of this linguistic oddity is that those who attempt to learn the language have to master the subtle muscle movements of the mouth and throat that produce that sound on demand. That's quite a bit of pressure to put on the little ones who are already attempting to master a thousand other things. The "r" is one thing that our Avey has put on the back burner so far while working on items such as planning her career (princess), organizing her inventory of toys (anywhere on the floor), and conning her father into telling her stories off the top of his head.

Just in the last couple of weeks we've tried to draw her attention to the tiny detail of the English "r". She didn't seem to hear the difference at first, but then she could get it if she tried really hard. In the last couple of days she's caught her misuse of the letter "w" in places it doesn't go. She's getting better at correcting herself, and slowly words like "real" are beginning to sound less like "wheel".

* * *

Avey's Nana made her a beautiful quilt for her birthday and had the brilliant idea of making a "magic" pocket in one of the squares. In this square will appear a prize of some sort on mornings after Avey has been particularly obedient. Her biggest prize thus far was a magnifying glass! She's been running around the house checking everything out with it. Yesterday, while she and I were waiting to go on a drive, she wanted to inspect things outside. She asked how the magnifying glass works, and I tried to explain that it bends the light. Then I noticed a discarded Popsicle stick in the rocks. I showed her how the sunlight, when bent to one small point on the Popsicle stick, can make it so hot that it burns. She was awestruck at this magic, so at every stop on our outing she requested to burn another little spot onto the stick. Luckily she hasn't got the hang of it yet to do on her own, but I'm beginning to worry I've lit a spark (pun completely intended) in her for pyromania. We'll just have to keep an eye on her to make sure she's not setting fires in her car seat while we drive.

Spoils

2011-10-02T20:10:00.002-06:00

Quite possibly the best birthday ever! Avey decided that to celebrate she wanted to go swimming. We didn't think this would be much of a problem because, hey, we live in Texas. However, our limited experience in Texas has involved mostly temperatures up to and including 103 degrees. The day we chose to swim it was a balmy 83 or so, and the pool water was freezing! Luckily my 12-year-old cousin came along and was able to put lots of energy into Avey's games while Kira and I moaned and groaned and shivered.

She is thrilled with all of her generous gifts! Here are a few highlights we got on video (we didn't record all of them):

As one might imagine, she requested a chocolate cake with green frosting. As I was coloring the frosting to get it the right shade, she told me to stop at a very light, mint color. I'm not sure the picture does it justice, but it looked more like key lime pie filling. Tasted great though, thanks to Pillsbury.

She was also pleased to receive a Rapunzel costume, so that she can be a more authentic version of her latest obsession. Later while she was playing she gasped and turned to me, "Daddy! I don't have a Pascal toy to help me be Rapunzel!" We found a stand-in and she could continue her fantasy.

Probably what she loved the most was the love and affection from her relatives. Thank you for the cards and notes. She is so glad to have you in her life!

Now let's hope this next year is longer than the last...

Avey 4.0

2011-09-25T14:00:00.001-06:00

It's the end of September again; cue Eli's freak out about his daughter turning a year older. It's the same thing every Fall. I start sleeping worse, I eat more junk food than usual (if you can imagine), I get this twitch in my eye, and clumps of hair start leaping from my scalp at random intervals throughout the day. There is something so awful about another year passing in my little girl's life. I don't know which is worse: getting farther away from her first steps, or getting closer to her first driving experience. Or maybe what's most depressing is that I'll still be in school when she starts, and every year she gets closer to starting.

At least during Avey's fifth year of life, we will be blessed with another new life to nourish and witness. While I am ecstatic about that, I don't know if I can start going through this emotional turmoil twice a year. And what may be most difficult is being reminded of Avey's little beautiful moments that we'll never get back while Newbaby goes through his or her own. The life of a parent is full of so many brief glimpses into innocence and purity, and it is so difficult to be reminded that the source will someday forget what things once were like.

For what it's worth, I am also a teensy bit excited that Avey will get to try out being four. She'll get to experience the joys of reading by herself, she's already forged into the mysteries of having a "big girl bed", she'll soon learn the wonders of basic math, and she'll feel the responsibility of being an older sibling.

At least one thing's (almost) for sure; she'll still enjoy giving me hugs for another year. And the countdown begins again...

Defense Mechanisms

2011-09-18T14:51:00.000-06:00

Avey was finally exposed to Tangled recently. She's been quite taken with the stunning visuals, the exciting plot, the tangible characters, and the romantic development. She's also gleaned an additional valuable piece of information from the film, which will become apparent in the following anecdote.

A few nights ago, after putting Avey to bed, she called to me and explained that she was frightened about going to sleep. I asked what she was scared of, and she told me that she feared skeletons would get her (she's been a little nervous about skeletons since seeing a small plastic Halloween decoration at a store a few weeks ago). She said that she could not stop thinking about skeletons, and she was too afraid to sleep. We talked about some things we could try to help her not think about skeletons, and she finally came up with the idea of keeping something next to her bed to protect her from them. And what did she decide she could use to ward off the demons? A frying pan!

So while she may or may not have reaped the more subtle messages of non-prejudice, unselfish love, and unrelenting hope, at least she understands the basic idea of blunt objects. You've done it again, Disney!

Companionship

2011-09-11T14:53:00.000-06:00

If you'll pick at random some of the posts over the years I've been blogging, you'll undoubtedly notice that Avey has been through several interesting phases, and grows into and out of many quirky behaviors. One of the most recent that she is slowly growing out of is what we've come to call her "friends". It began with Avey starting to sleep with a stuffed animal or two every night. This quickly grew into a routine of having the same few stuffed animals every night.

Somehow, the routine developed into a ritual where Avey had to have her friends "set up" before she would actually lie down at night. It went like this: "Sheepie" (now known as Baby Shaun the Sheep after we all became fans of this show) was to lay on her right side on her pillow, next to "Doggie". "Cowboy Bear" was to lie on her pillow on her left side. Eeyore, everyone's favorite dysthymic donkey, would be held between Avey's knees under the covers. Avey would then finally lie back, wrap her arms around her friends, turn to her side, and (sometimes) nod off to sleep.The ritual had to be strictly followed, else slumber was impossible. About once during the week, in fact, Avey would call out to us from her bed at about 2:00 in the morning and inquire as to the whereabouts of Eeyore. We invariably found him lost in the folds of her blankets, no doubt interpreting his misfortune as a reflection of his personal worth as a stuffed donkey. Safely returned to his place between Avey's knees, Avey could once again sleep until dawn.

Her companions recently became regular attendees at several other events throughout Avey's day, such as taking their assigned seats on the dinner table during meals (Avey insisted that they had to watch her eat), and witnessing Avey's use of the water closet.

I've personally begun to worry that Avey needs more social exposure to kids her age, so that she can make some real friends. Luckily, we have a neighbor here with a daughter just a little younger than she. I just hope that once their friendship blossoms Avey will require less from the little girl than she has of the stuffed animals.

Offspringing

2011-09-04T20:42:00.001-06:00

As the reader learned from the previous post, we are expecting a second child. This news came to us with much joy and celebration (we had been trying for some time), and we are glad to share the joy with everyone else. Here are a few points about this pregnancy:

Kira is approximately 12-13 weeks along.
She is slowly leaving the "morning sickness" phase. This time around was relatively better. With Avey there were a few days where Kira could not keep anything down at all. With Newbaby she has had a few rough moments (pretty much whenever she eats), but has had no days where she was unable to keep down most of the meals.
We have basically no ideas for boy names.
We may have some options for girl names.
Avey is convinced this will be a boy, and his name will be Robert.
Avey is excited to be a big sister, and continually refers to the child as her baby. She's compiled quite the list of things she will teach him or her.
Avey has been reliving what it was like to be a baby by having us ritualistically play peek-a-boo with her, pulling out her old baby toys, and explaining to us what babies don't know.

We'll share updates as they come.

In other news, Kira's Texas license came this week, so that she can now practice therapy here. The temperature today has been in the upper 70s or so, which feels amazing compared to the lower 100s we've endured for the past couple of weeks. UTEP's football team won their first game in overtime against Stony Brook last night! I will start a small job at the juvenile probation office here next week. I will mostly be doing psychological assessments to determine appropriate mental health diagnoses, if any, the probationers have. I have also been picked to be the teaching assistant for a statistics class - the one class I had hoped I would not have to TA for. I think it will be alright.

Sorry for a mostly journal-entry-post. Things are sure to get crazier soon...

Expansion

2011-08-28T19:17:00.003-06:00

After receiving widely positive reviews from critics and the public for our first attempt, Kira and I are pleased to announce that we have a second model of posterity coming to the market this Spring! We've listened to feedback from our biggest fans, closely researched what features are in demand, consulted with our chief production engineer (Kira), and feel that we are prepared to offer consumers a durable, versatile, and cutting-edge product at a fraction of what they might expect. As with our first model, the second will offer non-stop entertainment. Consumers will find that this new model will include all of their favorite features from the first, but will deliver them in unique and often unpredictable ways. Although we have not yet established the precise specifications of the model (i.e., male vs. female), we have voted that the new model will have a unique operating system. Our first model (currently running Avey 3.11) will continue to receive free periodic upgrades. Unfortunately, this news likely comes as a disappointment to many of our avid customers, as it is to be expected that many features of Avey 3.11 will be incompatible with the new operating system. Our programmers (Eli and Kira) will attempt to work out the discrepancies between the two, and hope that they may be more compatible within the next 16 to 25 years. After years of working with Avey 3.11, customers should expect a familiar level of user-friendly experiences with the second model.

Our new model is currently in approximately its 12th week of production, but customers may begin to reserve time with it now. You may also vote on the aesthetic attributes at this website.

Thank you for your business.

Plans

2011-08-21T13:40:00.005-06:00

My vision of how the move would go:

8/12, 9:00am - I'd arrive at the truck rental place. The man behind the counter would smile and welcome me, hand me the key to the truck, walk me through the features thereof, and I'd be on my way by 9:20.
10:00am - finished with breakfast and other preparations, we would spend the rest of the day organizing the last few things, taking apart a few remaining pieces of furniture, and begin cleaning windows and sweeping floors.
4:00pm - the help would arrive to assist with some of the heavy boxes and furniture, and some last pieces of detail work. We'd finish it up by 5:30pm, thank them and send them on their way with pizza. We'd spend the last few hours before bed reminiscing about the good times, and enjoying the company of family, laughing until we fell asleep soundly at about 9:00pm.
8/13, 6:00am - I'd awake without an alarm, stretch for a moment, get ready for the long drive with a hearty breakfast, and load up the last few items.
Driving away at 7:00am.
Entertained by the engaging discussions on the radio and the invigorating music on my iPod, and put at ease by the comfortable seat and cruise control of the truck, with strong tailwind assisting us southward, the morning passes with ease - almost unnoticed. We arrive at our lunch destination early, find diesel gas at a startling $2 a gallon, sit down to a relaxing brunch, and continue to our destination.
Admittedly, by about 3:00pm our nomadic spirits are waning. We feel the excitement of a new place to live with a new chapter in our lives.
By 4:30pm, we arrive at our new home, find half a dozen strapping young men welcoming and eager to share the burden of unloading the truck.
Unloaded by 5:30pm, beds put together and paths cleared of boxes by 6:30. Eat a delicious home-cooked meal and to bed by 7:30pm with dreams of degrees and empanadas in my head.
8/14, 8:00 - Avey wakes us, and we share a warm breakfast, relax a bit, and slowly begin to unpack before taking my brother to the airport with thanks for helping us with the whole trip.
Unpacked by 8/17, all loose ends tied, eager to begin classes on 8/22!

What happened:

8/12, 9:00am - I arrived at the truck rental place to find that they did not have my truck ready. Someone had apparently removed the tow hitch with which I needed to tow our second car. They got me another truck. The guy gave me a hand hooking up my car, only to find that someone had removed the bolts that held a chain onto the tow dolly. Those are kind of important, so he spent the next 20 minutes finding replacement bolts. I drove the truck home without incident by about 10:00am.
We ran into several hurdles with the last stuff to pack, and apparently left too much for the day of.
Our family help arrived about midday, and were miracle workers in getting us up and going - the men worked on loading the truck so that the womenfolk could work on the cleaning. By about 5:30 the truck was loaded, and the house almost clean. We were so exhausted and scatterbrained, however, that we had a hard time tying up loose ends until very late.
I realized that I should shut off the gas to our hot water, but we all wanted to shower, so I went into the crawlspace after it was dark outside, thinking I would just go the few feet in until I could reach the light. I opened the door and shone the small flashlight we hadn't packed to find a big spider web blocking my way in (if you know much about me, I'm pretty arachnophobic). I clenched my teeth and went in anyway. I groped around for the light, found it, and pulled on the string, only for it to fall into my hands, broken. I opted not to freak out yet, and plunged on into the abyss to find the water heater, and shut it off. I then found my way back out, covered in dirt and sweat, with a little bit of my dignity left.
10:00pm - We finished our showers and tried to sleep.
8/13, 6:00am - after about 2 hours total of sleep, due mostly to my bed being packed, my sore body, and the anxiety of the upcoming trip, I rose as a zombie from his grave. I had a quick breakfast of donuts and milk, brushed my teeth, and started throwing last minute things in the car. Long story short, we were ready to leave at about 7:30am.
7:30am - we discovered several problems with the truck. For one, I couldn't get it to start. It seemed like it might be the battery, so my brother and I started searching for it. we spent about 10 minutes looking and simply could not find it, so I called the truck's roadside assistance to be placed on hold for about 15 minutes and then told that we would have to wait for a tow truck for up to 2 hours. By then we had found the battery, and eventually got it started while waiting for the tow truck. We were on the road around 8:30am.
Oh, here's another problem we found with the truck. This is the chain from the tow dolly to the truck:
11:30am - in my attempt to quickly get things arranged so that I could eat and drive, I accidentally plant my iPod earbud in my frogs' tank (it works fine now, but had to dry out for a few hours).
We made our first stop about 3 hours into the trip. I warmed leftover pizza in a gas station microwave and got back on the road, trying to make up lost time.
2:30pm - far too close for comfort, I finally find a gas station just before Santa Fe. I fill it up amid a horrible hail/rain storm. During this, I discover that the truck will not start again. While attempting to figure out the problem, I get completely drenched from head to toe. I call Kira and my brother who are about 20 minutes ahead of me, tell them of the situation, and try what we did the first time to get the truck started. It does not work.
2:45pm - I call the roadside assistance again, and speak to an operator who gives me his diagnosis of the problem (I knew he was wrong, but arguing wouldn't have gotten it fixed any faster).
2:47pm - the gas station worker tells me I need to move the truck (hey, great idea!). I discover that their bathrooms are out of order.
2:55pm - Get a call from the tow company. The gentleman tells me that his mechanic will be right out. Kira drives me to find a bathroom. We cancel the help from the ward we had arranged for unloading the truck.
3:30pm - Gas station worker tells me I need to move the truck (Do you think I'd still be here if I could move the truck?).
3:50pm - I finally changed my clothes into something dry, and called the tow company again.
4:00pm - the mechanic shows up ("Sorry about that - I lost my keys").
4:03pm - the mechanic smacks the starter with a hammer and the truck starts right up. He explains how to do it if we have the problem again, we thank him and head out.
4:20pm - grab a quick dinner in Santa Fe and eat on the road.
11:30pm - arrive in El Paso, defeated and drained. By the grace of God, my aunt and uncle had picked up our key for us, left us an amazing meal in the fridge, and set up an air mattress in our room. They also supplied us with toilet paper, disposable dinnerware, and many other essentials. We will forever be in their debt.
8/14, 6:45am - after a few hours of sleep, my brother and I begin the slow, torturous process of unloading all of our worldly possessions from the truck into our new home.
11:00am - with about 15 boxes left, the ward calls and asks if we'll still need help after church is over at noon. We also realize that we didn't let my grandparents (who live in town also) know that we had arrived. They came anyway and brought another uncle of mine to assist with some of the last things, and then they took my brother to the airport to fly home.
The rest of the afternoon - I got our beds ready, and tried to unpack some things. Kira tried to occupy Avey, who was anxious to explore this new state and the neighborhood.
4:00pm - dinner at Grandma's. An exquisite break from the hectic ambiance of our new home.
The next week was spent slowly transforming our place into a home. During the course of the unpacking, we pieced together that we must have left several of our dishes in the dishwasher at our old place. We're attempting to recover them now. As of this post, we're moved in, but still have several boxes and a few pieces of furniture that need a place. Avey loves the pool:

I guess things don't always go according to plan. We're glad to finally be here, and looking forward to feeling like we're home. It has been so nice to have family here; I think we may survive. Now let us never speak of the last two weeks again.

A History of Moving

2011-08-07T19:49:00.004-06:00

As are most things with the human race, moving is a constantly developing practice. It has gone through several changes over the centuries. I have been contemplating this odd behavior for the past few days, and I'd like to herewith examine the progress we've made as a species in the moving department.

As cavemen, moving was a non-issue. You'd pick up your blunt object, whack your neighbor with it, and start sleeping and eating in his cave. This may have been the simplest type of move humankind has ever known. Ahh, the good ol' days...
As nomadic tribes, moving was part of everyday life. You never really unpacked your stuff, because your stuff consisted mainly of a tent or similar structure, some furs, and some nifty bone or stone tools. This may not have been as bad as it sounds because you never expected to settle down either. I'm slowly beginning to surrender to this idea as well.
During the Dark Ages, people would pack all of their things in a small handbag by waving a magic wand and singing a bunch of nonsense words. Or so is my understanding from intense study of The Sword in the Stone. I would totally go for this method if I could only find my wand. I must have already packed it somewhere.
Around the 12th Century, you'd just drop all of your crap and try to get away from the Mongols. They were coming for you man, so you had to get booking. While this option had to be exciting and can't have involved a whole lot of preparation, it falls lower on my list of preferred moving options.
In 14th Century Europe (the time of the Bubonic plague) you'd sometimes die before you started packing, which saved a lot of trouble. Most people probably didn't move though, because they were trying to avoid human contact; as long as they didn't die where they lived, they were doing better than a lot of their neighbors.
17th Century - you'd pack up only your most precious belongings, take a several-month-long cruise on a ship across the ocean, living off rancid food, unpredictable weather, and shipmates with horrible morning breath, only to reach your destination where you had to build your own dwelling and probably die there during the winter. I'm afraid I'm not much of a gambler, so I don't think I would have enjoyed this option either.
19th Century United States involved a brisk walk for hundreds of miles in shoes that probably didn't fit right, decades before Dr. Scholl ever went to med school. The weather was harsh, the diseases were deadly, and the roads weren't paved. Many even had to pull or push the carts containing their possessions under their own power. I have nightmares after playing The Oregon Trail, so I probably wouldn't have done too well going this route in real life.

I suppose comparatively the present day practice of moving is significantly less of a hassle and risk of life and limb than it has been throughout most of history. I really shouldn't whine as much as I do, but I'll probably still let out a couple of whimpers and pouts over the next week. Please bear with me.

Ramble On

2011-07-31T19:10:00.001-06:00

Everything is slowly falling into place for the move. We're in a bit of a stalemate where we've packed most of the non-essentials, but have too much time still here to pack the necessities. This will be my last week of work (thank goodness), and then it will be all about getting us out of here.

Avey describes her feelings as mixed. She will be sad to leave all of the fun places we've discovered here, but she is ecstatic about the pool at our new place. She's been a very good sport through all of this, and we're sure she'll thrive wherever she's planted.

She's been particularly hilarious lately. The other night at dinner she had invited a puppet by the name of Dough Boy to join us. She spent the majority of the meal intensely interviewing our guest about very personal things. After several minutes of me playing ventriloquist, she asked him why he was so fat. I thought I would have a little fun with the scenario and try to get a laugh out of Kira too, so I answered for Dough Boy that he had fallen prey to a vicious cycle where he was depressed because of his weight, and the only comfort he found was in food. Avey, always the amateur therapist (thanks to her parentage), reached out a pretend handful to Dough Boy and said, "Oh. Well, want some bacon?"

Here she is performing for herself in front of the mirror earlier this week:

She has also been suffering from a major case of the whys the past couple of days. She recently asked me why a dog didn't want another animal to bite him. I answered that he didn't want to get hurt. She asked why he didn't want to get hurt. I said no animals like to get hurt. She wanted to know why. I came up with some answer, to which the reply came, "Why?" Our conversations go like this a lot lately.

We need to teach that girl how to use Google.

What I've Learned in Prison

2011-07-24T18:44:00.002-06:00

Ahh, shock value... I'm beginning to see the appeal. If you're a recent addition to the enormous-and-constantly-growing readership of The Ricks Experiment, the title of today's post may have thrown you off guard momentarily. Adventurous as T.R.E. audience members are, I'm sure you will venture on to explore the meaning of the title. Yes, I have been in and out of prison for the last 2 years, I admit; but it was entirely voluntary every time (well, I suppose employment is a prison in itself in many ways, but that's for another post). I am within 2 weeks of my final date of employment, or as we like to call it in the corrections industry, my "Mandatory Release Date." I have worked as a psychotherapist with the offenders in several of Colorado's correctional facilities, from medium security all the way to the supermax security, where I am currently. This position has allowed me a great deal of face time with the outcasts of American society, and, I believe, has left me with some valuable experience and interesting perspectives. I would like to share some of what I have learned in the last 2 years, in no particular order.

Aggression is not learned, but self control is.
Criminal thinking is very often taught.
Almost everyone exists with the inherent assumption that they are reasonable people.
The greatest hope we have of building a better, more functional world is through functional familial relationships.
I look like a nerd in a tie and slacks.
No matter how bad I think I have it, somebody has it far worse than I could have imagined.
As Nietzsche said, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
The difference between a miserable person and a content person is how he or she approaches the world. Perspective is everything.
We are none of us perfect, and taking an honest look at ourselves is perhaps the most difficult, but most rewarding task we may undertake.
Many seemingly "normal" citizens are just as sociopathic as those behind bars (I think I probably dated some years ago), they have just found adaptive or legal ways of being sociopathic.
I can't last very long without a little fresh air.
Sometimes the best therapy is a little bit of intentional listening.
When it rains, it really does pour.
Among the largest challenges to criminals is understanding and accepting that they are in control of their destinies, not simply victims of the rest of the world.
The little things we do today lead to the things we will be doing tomorrow.

I'm sure I could go on and on, but these are probably the most significant things I've learned. Some of these are hopefully intuitive to most of you, but I believe that my experiences among the criminal population has driven these home for me.

Of course, my Ph.D. program is a legal concentration, so I'm sure I'll be spending more time in prisons. I just hope they'll continue to let me leave whenever I want.

P.S. We have finalized our address in Texas. If you did not receive an email with our updated address and would like it, please leave a comment with your email address or another way to contact you. I'll delete the comment as soon as I send the address to you. Please be advised that we prefer to get mail containing good news.

Pressure

2011-07-17T14:04:00.003-06:00

We're within 1 month of our move now, and things are slowly coming together. I've got a truck reserved, I got credits transferred to cover my 1st year statistics class, I've packed about a dozen boxes, and we signed the lease on our new place on Friday! We're beginning to feel the tension of the approaching deadline, however, as you can see by Avey's nervous nail-biting:

I'm half tempted to just bag up everything and haul it over to Goodwill, but I'm afraid that they wouldn't want half of it. Of course, Avey wants to keep everything in sight, so we've had to sneak some things away that she hasn't played with for months. So far so good. Now if we can just hold those same standards for our toys, we'll be able to lighten the load pretty significantly.

Back in Business

2011-07-10T12:11:00.003-06:00

Please excuse the lack of a post last week; we were just getting home from a trip to Texas and were very busy recovering, etc. Kira and I were off hunting for a place to crash for the next 3-4 years, and Kira’s parents were gracious enough to keep Avey for us for a few days to increase our productivity. In brief, our trip established a few important things: (a) Texas is a hot place, (b) we are both wimps, (c) we love our daughter, and (d) Avey is nearly oblivious (or perhaps “indifferent” would be the more appropriate word) to our existence. Allow me to explain:

A. It was about 103 degrees Fahrenheit the first day of our hunt. Of course, we were in and out of the car all day as well, and the car had to have been a good 10 degrees more as the concept of shaded parking has not yet caught on in the Lone Star State.

B. We were thus quick to establish that we cannot live without central AC wherever we live while residing in said climate.

C. The first hour or so of our separation from her majesty was liberating, but emotions quickly turned into longing when my attempts to tickle Kira’s tummy were met with less giggling and more slapping than the same would reap from Avey. Seriously though, we were both so focused on our task at hand that we were able to ward off the depression of being away from Little Miss Sunshine pretty well. That is, until we called her to check in. Her rating on the adorable scale is a function of our time and distance away from her (for the math geeks, a = t x d), because every word out of her mouth made us homesick.

D. Which brings me to the next item. Avey was polite enough to us on the phone, mostly updating us on the status of her moth jar, and reminding us that the room in which she slept was green, “[her] favorite color!” But the more we called her, the less interested she seemed to be in us. One day we called for the second time and she asked, “Hi Mommy and Daddy! Why are you calling me?” Naturally, we told her it was because we love and miss her. If we could have seen her, I’m sure we’d have seen her rolling her eyes when she responded, “Again?!?” We worried that we would arrive home to pick her up and she’d have moved on from our relationship, but she impressed us very much; we quietly opened the door to the dining room where she was sitting, looking elsewhere. I don’t know if it was staged, but we overheard her ask her grandparents, “When are Mommy and Daddy getting here?” Then she saw us, and it seemed as if she were dreaming for a moment until she realized that we really were there. She smiled widely and then hugged and kissed us for several minutes, giggling all the while. Nice to know we’ve had some impact on her life.

So we’re pretty sure we’ve found a home, but we’re waiting on the application stuff to all go through. We’ll let you know.

In other news, it was Kira’s birthday this week! She chose to spend her special day engaging in a family pastime and source of PTSD for me: water skiing! It was a pleasant day – Kira got in a lot of water time, and I was able to avoid the pain and humiliation by acting out scenes of Muppet Treasure Island over and over with Avey in the designated swimming area while she floated in her little inflatable “boat”. In retrospect, maybe impersonating a fictional frog and pig who are in love should be more embarrassing to me than skipping across the lake on my face at 25 m.p.h. I’ll consider it…

She appreciated all of the phone calls, emails, messages, and tweets. She truly is loved and valued, and we are all lucky to have her in our lives. Avey and I especially would be lost without her. Here’s to several more years to celebrate!

Compassion

2011-06-26T19:28:00.004-06:00

One of the characteristics I hoped and prayed (and, quite frankly, predicted) my daughter would possess is that of compassion for others. Even before I knew I would eventually begin to work therapeutically with the criminal population, and witness the horrors that result from antisocial thinking and behavior, I desired above all that empathy would be an inherent trait in my offspring. It looks as though my prayers were answered; Avey has a soft spot for all creatures both real and fantastic. She is even able to relate with a plethora of nonliving things, such as rocks, clothing, books, clothespins, etc. As Abraham Lincoln said, "If you look for the bad in people, you will surely find it," Avey seems to look for the good in everyone and everything - refusing to believe that there are useless objects, meaningless creatures, or lost souls. She has apparently taken the ideological stance that if it exists there must be something beautiful about it. Observe her philosophy on a creature whom I have a hard time restraining myself from killing:

Notice her choice of words, "I love moths a little bit." Instead of mostly hating them, she has chosen to see the vermin as a proverbial glass half full (or in this case maybe only a few drops full). I'm lucky that she is my daughter - it seems that I still have volumes to learn.

I've been under the weather for about half of the week. Avey, astute as always, caught on to this during dinner one evening and queried, "Are you sick Daddy?" I answered in the affirmative, giving her a pouty lip just to punctuate the circumstance. She considered for a moment, making her diagnosis, and then suggested, "Maybe salt will help!"

Ah yes, even though she was clueless as to how to treat my symptoms, she combined her three years of pre-basic first aid knowledge and came up with the best solution she could. I have to admit though, after laughing for about 3 full minutes I did feel significantly better. In this case certainly, it is the thought that counts.

Father's Day '11

2011-06-19T18:43:00.005-06:00

Another nice Father's Day this year; got a nap, a nice meal, a few gifts, and a sincere apology from my child. It was pretty funny actually; a couple of days ago Avey and I were home alone, getting ready for bed, and Avey told me in her most apologetic voice, "Daddy, I'm sorry that I'm getting older." I was sincerely touched that she would know and care that I am saddened that she will not always be my "little" girl, but for a moment I was also horrified that I had somehow warped her. I took a moment to have a mini-freak-out imagining that she would be some kind of Peter Pan complex case - still acting like she's 3 at age 15, still sleeping with stuffed animals when she's 20, still demanding that everything in the house be green (her favorite color), and so on. I used the opportunity to explain the terms "mixed feelings," and "bittersweet" to her. She seems like she'll be okay getting older now, but agreed to still live next door to me even after she is a mommy.

In the car yesterday Avey and I were having a conversation, and she was being a little bit argumentative. I asked, challenging, "Do you wanna fight?" She snapped right back, "No Daddy! I do not want a piece of you!"
For some reason idioms are hilarious when toddlers use them. They're even funnier when they use them in slightly wrong ways. This father thing is the best job I've ever had by far!

Heat

2011-06-12T13:22:00.002-06:00

I suppose the grass really is always greener on the other side. When we're in the dead of winter I'm ready for summer; and when it's in the upper 80's in June I'm ready for the winter again. Of course, the grass isn't greener in winter. It's actually not green at all, at least 'round these parts.

Anyway, I've decided we really are sissies. Air conditioning hasn't even been around that long in the grand scheme of things, but somehow the human race has survived for thousands of years even when unable to escape temperatures up to and including 89 degrees Fahrenheit. And yet right around 78, my entire body shuts down to the point where I feel utterly incapable of disturbing my catatonic state on the couch to get up and dish a bowl of ice cream. We do have air conditioning here in the house, luckily, or I might have ended up in a coma while writing this. On a completely unrelated note, the forecast in El Paso for this Thursday is 105!

Honestly, I think my lack of energy is more related to my lack of motivation than the heat. We finally got around to looking into housing for our move this week (making sure AC is a feature)!

I'm sorry we have no new pictures or video this week. We've been pretty busy. Just this week Avey's developed interest in dancing and bugs. She woke up one morning and decided that she likes moths and wants to hold one in her hand. So I, being the tender father I am, wounded one, but before finishing him off, let it flutter around in her palm before falling to the floor. Think that'll scar her for life? Anyway, she later had me "catch" a dead one in a jar so she could watch it while she ate. I think that's a little funny, but what scares me is that she knew it was dead, but still wanted it put in the jar anyway.

Random update: Scarver, the guy who killed Jeffery Dahmer, is now housed in the prison where I work. One way to know that you've been working in prison too long is when you kind of want to get the autograph of the guy who killed one of the most infamous serial killers in history.

I think I should compile a post of "things I learned in prison" before we move.

Blog Post

2011-06-05T19:36:00.004-06:00

Attention-grabbing opening statement, engaging reader. Brief statement foreshadowing humorous and interesting anecdote. Narrative covering history before alluded-to whimsical episode, including word play, self-deprecating humor, reference to pop culture, or otherwise comical element. Build up to jest's zenith with analogous reference to everyday life. Punch line. Insert heartwarming photograph depicting familiar figures in pose/situation which is mildly humorous. Segue into strong family-oriented statements, including bittersweet reflections on the scarcity of time, importance of commonplace events, strength of relational bonds, etc. Drive point home with reassuring statement that cost-benefit ratio of parental obligation is encouraging. Close with final sentence that may leave reader questioning the sincerity of previous statement, but with enough jovial sense that reader ultimately concludes the writer jests. Repeat sequence weekly until death.

Correction

2011-05-29T19:29:00.003-06:00

Well, it seems that I published the previous post too soon. It turns out I have ridden an elephant (I am at the end of the line):

So how do you like that? Turns out I had a pretty cool childhood after all. I guess it's moms that never forget. Good work Nana Laura for enlightening me!

Firsts

2011-05-29T13:11:00.003-06:00

If you're reading this right now, it means that someone made it through. Someone survived. We've fought them off as best we can, but it appears all of our efforts have been in vain. For every one we kill, two more take its place. We are nearly overrun. The worst part is the fluttering. The constant fluttering, the chills up the spine, the surprise attacks after opening every door. These moths will be the death of us all. Our resolve is waning, as we are down to our last 2 functional fly swatters, and running out of places to bury the dead. Whoever gets this, please tell our story, that others might know of our plight...

Seriously though, I hate moths. For the last 3 days they come out of nowhere as soon as the sun is down, and then they fly around our lamps, smacking into the bulbs and each other like idiots. Do moths even have brains? Or are they like jellyfish, just drifting and annoying the rest of the world?

Anyway, this was quite the week of novelty. We went to a circus Monday night, where Avey got to see real clowns, acrobats, tigers, a bear, and even ride an elephant (she's the only one facing the camera):

The elephants put on quite the impressive show, but Avey seemed more concerned about her little cheese crackers throughout the displays. She doesn't seem to get how cool it is that she rode an elephant. I'm nearly 30, and I've never even touched an elephant!

We also decided to take the plunge this week and get Avey's hair cut. Here is a photo of it at maximum length, having never been cut since birth:

When we suggested she get the haircut, she said that she wanted a "boy haircut," like mine. We tried to get her to explain why she wanted it that short, but didn't ever really get a great reply. After a little coaxing, she agreed to keep her girl cut, but declared that she would get a boy haircut someday and just walk behind everybody so that they wouldn't see it. Here she is during the operation:

And below is the finished product. Be prepared for me to begin writing more freak-out posts in the future as she experiences more firsts, and I wrestle with the reminders of her growing up. It's almost like I can feel my youth evaporating from my body as I write this.

Cowboys

2011-05-22T18:56:00.004-06:00

Call me prejudiced, but I thought it was usually boys who are obsessed with cowboys. Avey, however, has loved pretending to be a "rootin' tootin'" cowboy for some time now, going months back to a certain Elmo's World about the Wild Wild West. I think we inherited it from my brother, and Avey instantly fell in love. It probably has something to do with the fact that they get to ride horses all day and wear those spiffy hats. Her interest in cowboys seems to have been reinforced by her recent introduction to Toy Story 2, in which the hero is Woody, a cowboy toy:

She's really been studying the cowboy way of life too. For example, this week a friend of hers came by while in town, and through the conversation revealed that her father is a cowboy. Avey became ecstatic at this news, and the barrage of questions began. When could we meet him? Does he wear a real cowboy hat? What color is the hat? Does he have a horse? What's his horse's name? And so on. A few minutes after her little friend had to head home, Avey and I continued on a walk and she, still lost in her fascination, speculated, "Dad! Maybe her cowboy daddy says 'tarnation'!"

After all, that is the mark of a genuine cowboy.

Potpourri

2011-05-15T11:52:00.005-06:00

We were graced this week with a nice visit from Kira's brother, his wife, and their baby. Avey's auntie somehow found the time between feedings to spoil Avey and Kira with some fancy nail painting:

Unfortunately, I was stuck at work all day and didn't get home in time to have my own done. Maybe next time they're in town...
Other than the pleasant visit, there's not been a whole lot to tell about, so here are a few updates on Avey:

Yesterday she started using the phrase "after all." We were sitting at the dinner table having a riveting discussion on a Pixar film or something along those lines, and she said the phrase a few times. "After all, Dad, Sully is a good guy," she'd say.
I taught her recently what a cylinder is. She started identifying cylinders around the room, but slowly faded from saying "cylinder" and finally drifted to something that sounded more like "calendar."
She can identify about two thirds of the alphabet consistently, and has been working on identifying words that begin with which letter. We've been informally coaching her on some basics of reading, and she's taken an interest. Maybe we'll have her reading in the next year or so!
Avey upgraded to a "big girl bed" a few weeks ago. That just means that we took the front rail off of her crib. She loves the freedom, but has fallen out a couple of times in the middle of the night. Kira and I will hear a soft thud, and then a second later, an exhausted little cry. When we go in to console her she mumbles some disoriented nonsense until we lay her back in bed. It's actually pretty funny to us, but we try to feel bad all the same.

Perception

2011-05-08T19:46:00.003-06:00

A very happy Mothers' Day to all! I hope everybody called their moms today and thanked them for tolerating all that we children put them through! I was in charge of Avey only slightly more than most days today, and I got a pretty big wake up call about how hard it can be to deal with a little princess all the time. For some reason Avey decided that she would make sure I paid my dues, and had two potty accidents over the course of the day for me to clean up. It's kind of sad how Kira and I both went to 6 years of college in the hopes of keeping from having to do that kind of work, and yet here we are cleaning up poop, doing food preparation, and attempting to smile at our "customer" as she tells us that nothing we do is helpful. We sometimes begin to understand why so many people these days are opting to let the television raise their kids (here's a funny article on a similar subject).

We have had quite the busy week! Yesterday was the Blossom Festival, and we (i.e., Avey) dragged two of my brothers around town to all of the little fun spots. They even waited patiently while Avey got her face painted. She chose a dragon, but we lost one of his eyes while playing at the park later:

We also purchased yet another betta fish! We decided to throw down the extra money this time and get one that actually eats. He's made it 8 days now, so we think he just might make it a little while. Avey chose another red one, and named him "Elmo" just like the last one. We'll be sure to follow his antics closely over the next year or so.

Earlier this week Avey was sitting at the table attempting to keep herself entertained. She typically accomplishes this by imagining inanimate objects are living beings, and making them interact with one another. This often creates problems, as her spoon and fork nearly always are the stars of her play, but her unimaginative parents also need her utensils to help direct the food from her plate to her mouth. These conflicting roles are often the subject of great dissonance at the table. I tried to explain to her at dinner the other night that I needed to "borrow" her fork to help her take a bite. She barely muffled the impatience with my naivety in her voice as she said, "No, Dad. My fork is not a fork - it's a girl!" I chuckled internally and decided that I might add to the fun. I picked up my glass and suggested that it was a rocket ship. This time she made no attempt to hide her disgust with me, and informed me that my glass was "just a glass." She almost seemed legitimately worried that I was losing my mind, because she added, "Look at it" just to drive her point home.

Well, I did look at it. I concede that it is no rocket ship, but you have to admit it sure would have taken her little fork and spoon game to a whole new level.

Six

2011-05-01T10:02:00.005-06:00

Kira and I celebrated our 6th anniversary this week! "Celebrated" may be a bit of an exaggeration though, as we have been trying to be more thrifty in preparation for our move at the end of the summer. We did spend a couple of hours away from Her Majesty, and had a little evening picnic and Frisbee toss until we came home for ice cream and the last half of a classic 8Os flick, The Last Starfighter. Avey was very kind to us and slept in until after 8 on Saturday, and until about 7:20 this morning! And that's the greatest gift of all!

It's hard to believe that it's already been 6 years! It's been nice looking back through old posts to remember all that we've experienced over that time - good, bad, and ugly. I just hope the next 6 years are as good as the first six!

Avey has really been into games lately, as you'll recall from her Monopoly interest. This week it's been a little bit more about Hide & Seek. Usually the way we play is that Daddy will randomly hide when Avey is looking for him, then Daddy sneaks up on her and surprises her. That must have been provoking too much anxiety because Avey changed the rules recently. Now she tells me where she is going to hide, and tells me to "look in wrong places first," then find her. That might take some of the fun out of it normally, but even when I don't know in advance where she's hiding, she squeals and giggles in anticipation so that I can hear her from the other side of the house. Even when it's my turn she tells me where to hide, and still acts surprised to find me right where she told me to be.

I guess to her it is more of a role playing game than a competition.

[Catchy Title]

2011-04-24T19:06:00.003-06:00

Happy Easter everyone! As is tradition for us, we spent time with family for the annual egg hunt and lots of good food. Kira and Avey spent hours in preparation for the festivities by saving, dyeing, and filling the eggs with delicious treats. It's been our luck for the past couple of years that it's been very cold during our egg hunts, and this year was no different. Luckily Avey's adventurous zeal (or perhaps her sweet tooth) kept her from getting discouraged, and we pressed on.

Avey really loves to be around family. She doted on her baby cousins, played with the older cousins and her uncles, and performed for grandparents. While we were at my mother's house, Avey said out of nowhere, "Maybe when I am older, I could live with Nana and be her daughter!" I empathized that it would be fun, but lamented that I wanted her to be my daughter even when she gets older. She quashed my concern as she informed me that "It's okay. You will just have another daughter, named Ava." She then went on to explain how we would spell our other daughter's name; A-V-O-E-... [trails off]. She did reassure me that I could still be her daddy, even if she becomes Nana's daughter. That blunted the blow a little.

Contrasts

2011-04-17T15:48:00.005-06:00

Obviously, the biggest thing that happened this week was deciding to attend more school in Texas this Fall. This move comes with mixed emotions;

On the one hand I'm excited to continue my education, but on the other hand I am dreading homework.
I'm glad to be able to leave my job (which I haven't liked very much), but I really enjoyed having money.
I'm thrilled to be closer to family I've not lived near for most of my life, but I'm quite sad to leave family I have lived near most of my life.
I'm excited to be so close to exotic Mexico, but concerned I'll get kidnapped and murdered.

You know, the usual emotions that come with change.

Seriously though, we know this move is yet another investment in our future, we've survived moving before, and El Paso is one of the safest cities around (Juarez, however, is another story).

We'll adapt to this change, as we've always done in the past.

On another note, Avey made a big step in her cognitive development in the past couple of weeks. For the last year or so, she's used the number 5 as basically the biggest number in the universe. In her mind, 5 was equivalent to infinity. For example, she might estimate that there were 5 blades of grass in our lawn, or 5 hairs on her head. I can't really blame her; after all, once you reach 5 you max out the number of fingers on one hand. How else should one continue to count? But now she's been using the phrase "an hundred of..." to describe large quantities of things. For example, she'll want "an hundred of crackers" with her lunch. Anyway, I was pretty impressed.

Also, she has been acting out the same scenario in several places lately. The general storyline is that a male something meets a female something, they have to dance with each other briefly until the male dips her, they kiss, and then Avey pronounces them married. She also usually adds that the female is suddenly with child after the kiss. I guess that's what we get for teaching her everything about biology through Disney movies. Ignorance is probably okay at this age though.

Go Miners!

2011-04-12T19:40:00.001-06:00

This week I accepted an offer of admission to the University of Texas at El Paso. I will begin their doctoral program this coming August! In the meantime, be prepared for lots of whining about finding housing, moaning about packing, and venting about moving. Here we go again!

The Sampler

2011-04-10T10:22:00.003-06:00

I apologize for the delay in posting; last Sunday we were driving home from out of state, and I did not manage to make time to write. We had a delightful trip visiting family, and were sad to leave (I was even sadder to go back to work). Avey did amazing on the drive, and had zero potty accidents! She set a great example for me...

Now, for some scattered tidbits:

Unfortunately, we came home to find that our newest betta fish, Elmo (Avey copied the name from her aunt's betta) had died. Honestly, I wasn't very surprised; we had adopted him about 5 days before we left, but for some reason he would not eat, no matter what food I tried. I think we may wait a bit before trying another one, much to Avey's dismay.

We also came home to find our trees blossoming, and our grass green and growing! That, in turn, meant that we purchased our first mower yesterday! Ah, the joys of playing "house..."

The other day, Avey had been watching Sleeping Beauty, and shared her commentary with Kira. She said, "And she lays on the bed asleep, and she doesn't suck her thumb because she's an adult - she just lays there." Interesting what things stick out to us depending on our reference point.

More to come as it happens to us...

Games People Play

2011-03-27T19:15:00.003-06:00

Avey learned the other day that we are the proud owners of Parker Brothers' Monopoly (we received it as a wedding gift, but have played it probably once since then). She became very excited at this new knowledge, and insisted that we bust it out and play. Kira has introduced her to Old Maid and Go Fish in weeks past, with intermittent expressed interest from the girl, but I think Avey was particularly excited for Monopoly because it's the game "all of the other reindeer" would not let Rudolf play. It seems the song piqued her interest as to why a quadruped would desire to play such a game, why the rest of his species would disallow such a thing, and how the game is playable with hooves in the first place.

In any case, we introduced the game to her. As games go, Monopoly is a bit on the complicated side for college graduates like us, so we were not sure how to explain the rules of play to a preschool-aged child. At the first engagement she disregarded instruction and instead decided that the game was played by talking about all of the shiny "tokens" and then looking at all of the pictures on the "Chance" and "Community Chest" cards, and asking the opponent what the pictures depicted. However, at next play, Kira decided she would introduce elements of play. Avey seems to have liked that, for when we played today she taught me how it works:

Here are a few of the rules as Avey plays it:

Avey gets all of the green property, because green is her favorite color.
Avey gets all of the houses, because they are green.
Avey may place houses on her property at any time.
Any time Avey rolls the dice she gets to pick money from the stack (you'll notice her spoils in the picture above).
Avey can put her opponent in jail at any time during the game (but she usually pretends to open the door immediately to expunge all charges and free the opponent).
Avey's token is always the bag of money; her opponent is always the thimble.
When Avey rolls the dice and there are too many dots, she may turn the dice to find a lower number of dots, at her discretion.
The relative value of the money is determined not by the numbers printed thereon, but by the color of the paper upon which they are printed; prettier colors are worth more than less pretty colors.

These are just a few of the rules to which I had to adapt to survive in the game. In fairness, however, she did allow me full access to the hotels, if only for the reason that they are not green.

*Click here for the real Games People Play.*

Why

2011-03-20T12:34:00.004-06:00

Avey's been extremely curious for the past few weeks. This is evidenced by her favorite word lately: "why." It doesn't seem to matter what we're doing or where, she wants to know the purpose behind everything. For example, while reading a book with Kira the other day, Avey asked why there was a particular character drawn on the page, why he was dressed the way he was, why he had that particular facial expression, why he wasn't on the next page, and so on. If we try to plant her in front of a short show to keep her occupied for a few minutes, she will continue to barrage us with questions about the show, the characters' intentions, their choice of hairstyles, their accents, their choice of phrasing, etc. We try to answer, as we understand that she is attempting to put together the pieces of this puzzle that is life, but after several hours it can get exhausting.

We're sure that this is just a phase that all children go through around this age. I've found it disconcerting, however, to find that I often don't know the answers to her questions. She asked me last night why we call a particular fruit "apple." I had no idea, but she seemed satisfied with the answer that it is because they come from an "apple tree." While most of her questions have logical answers, such as why we take baths or why we sleep at night, some of her other questions have me wondering about things we take for granted. Why do I wear a tie to work? I guess somebody thought it looked nice a long time ago. Why do green lights mean "go?" I guess somebody decided so and we all agreed. Why do we have a white car? Because that's what color it is.

Even though her constant questioning of social norms can get annoying at times, I'm pretty sure that's the method most stand-up comedians use these days. She just needs a clever way to line them up. Maybe instead of just asking "why," we can work on getting her to say, "What's the deal with..." That would at least be pretty funny.

Such Sweet Sorrow

2011-03-14T20:27:00.003-06:00

Today I came home from work to find our fish, Jeffery, lying lifeless on the pebbles of his bowl. I always thought dead fish float, but what're you going to do? We had him about a year and a half; he survived a move, several days staying with my siblings, two sometimes pushy frog neighbors, and a rough bacterial infection that nearly took an eye. Here are some other highlights of Jeffery's life:

Circa January 22, 2008: successfully hatches from egg and attends his first family reunion in the same day - to this day he does not remember all of his siblings' names
February 1, 2008: makes no attempt whatsoever to potty train
February 14, 2008: frightens off another male - the betta fish version of sending a female a valentine
March 23, 2008: scrapes knee during horseplay and learns valuable lesson
June 30, 2008: sentence of solitary confinement is transferred to pet store
August 13, 2008: hired as decoration for human wedding - paid in workspace and pellets
August 15, 2008: announces retirement from decoration business
August 20, 2008: moves in with Ricks family
August 28, 2008: acquires roommate - African Dwarf Frog named "Ursula"
September 9, 2008: quickly learning the tricks of a roommate, Jeffery steals Ursula's food
October 31, 2008: dresses as "fish" for Halloween
December 12, 2008: sets personal record for biggest bubble nest
March 2, 2009: swims around bowl counter-clockwise, just for a change
August 20, 2009: celebrates 1 year with the Ricks' by binging on bloodworms
January 20, 2010: marks 1000th successful voyage to other side of decorative flower
September 25, 2010: survives Ricks' move - slight change of scenery outside of bowl
October 21, 2010: comes down with bacterial infection
November1, 2010: recovers from infection, realizes frailty of life
November 4, 2010: disturbed to learn that so-called Ursula was really a dude - gains a female African Dwarf Frog roommate
February 28, 2011: completes memoirs
March 14, 2011: peacefully passes to the next world, is honored in traditional flushing ceremony

You know, maybe my life isn't so depressing after all.

Avey actually cried when she learned of Jeffery's death. It lasted about 3 minutes, and then I asked if she thought she would like another betta fish. She was ecstatic at that thought, and has already decided she wants a red one this time. Kind of makes me wonder how she'll mourn my death in 60-80 years; "Aww... that's so sad... Bowling anyone?"

Apples & Trees

2011-03-13T20:12:00.001-06:00

Long before Avey was born I had decided that I wanted my daughter to be a musician. I had concluded that she would eventually play the harp and/or the cello. I never intended to be much of a helicopter parent, or one who pressures his kids to excel in areas where the kids have no particular interest, but on the other hand, I want my daughter to play the frickin' harp and/or cello. You can see the bind I'm in. So I was very pleased when a couple of days ago, Avey inquired as to whether or not we had any tubas in the house (inspired by the intro to VeggieTales, even though it's actually a Sousaphone). To her dismay, I had to break it to her that we were fresh out of tubas, but she became very excited to learn that I have a horn in F (a.k.a. "French horn") ready at a moment's notice:

Her first attempt to bring forth music sounded like a bellows working to stoke a fire - she is, after all, used to recorders and harmonicas making sound after simply blowing air (no offense to the woodwinders in the audience). I was pleased to find that, after a very brief lesson in the mechanics of brass instruments, she was able to produce a nice, solid tone. She was more thrilled than any of us, and has been practicing several times a day, even coaxing her mother and I to sing the theme song to VeggieTales as she drones out her single note over and over.
Even though the horn is in a different category than the harp or cello, I'm quite flattered that she likes the horn so much. Perhaps her passion is something I passed on to her - it is in her blood, after all. If she keeps up her interest and practice, she may follow in her daddy's footsteps. Let's just hope we don't find any tubas lying around to distract her from her destiny...

Physics

2011-03-06T10:29:00.003-07:00

The other day, during dinner, Avey became interested in our jar of garlic powder. She started asking all sorts of questions about it; why it's brown, what the letters mean, what it tastes like, and so on. Eventually she asked why the powder moves inside when we move the jar. I explained the concept of gravity to her, describing how the invisible force pulls everything down all the time. I demonstrated it to her by tipping the jar over, and we witnessed how all the powder was pulled downward. She became excited at discovering a new toy, and asked, "Dad, can I do gravity?"

She had a fine time doing gravity for a while after that. It's kind of funny how pointing at something right under our noses can spark our interest in it.

It's been a bit of a rough week. Avey and Kira came down with what I had last week. That has mostly meant that Avey has been very cranky, with a very short fuse. My promotion finally kicked in this week also, meaning that I've been changing my job duties. That's been a bit complicated, but a good thing overall. Hopefully things will go a bit smoother this week.

Creativity

2011-02-27T11:27:00.005-07:00

Avey certainly has the creative gene. She seems able to turn just about anything into a toy. For example, a couple of weeks ago she and I found a marble while we were out on a walk. She held on to it, and during a meal grabbed some clothespins and began to carry on a dialogue between the clothespins and the marble. I offered to put faces on the clothespins, which excited her. She chose the colors and the kinds of faces. Here are "[left to right] Marble, Frown Red, Silly Black, and Happy Blue."

At most meals these days, she will pick up her new toys and begin enacting a scenario. From what I've gathered, it usually follows the same pattern; Marble will roll away from the group, often toppling onto the carpet from the table, which is why Frown Red is sad. She and Marble apparently have a close relationship, and Marble's unexpected departure lunges Frown Red into a melancholy. Luckily, however, Happy Blue and Silly Black empathize with Frown Red's plight, and they comfort her until Marble returns (with the assistance of yours truly).

Avey has enjoyed her new toys so much that we've even made efforts to improve their images:
If this pattern persists, we won't need a Christmas or birthday budget of more than a few cents!

Avey has felt much better for the past week - thank you all for your sympathy. Unfortunately, I'm down with something right now, and it's no fun at all. It's not affecting my tummy, but I sure don't feel like doing anything. Avey's been a very helpful aide to me, providing unlimited hugs and kisses, so I should be on the mend soon. Kira's been kindly attending to me as well, although she's got some weird ideas about chocolate chip cookies not being the cure-all.

Ms. "R"

2011-02-20T12:23:00.002-07:00

DATA: Client is a 3 year old Caucasian female, self-referred to clinic, with a chief complaint of what she described as "my tummy is not happy." Ms. R declined to elaborate upon further inquiry, but instead sucked her left thumb and leaned her head upon the co-therapist. From this point on, she responded only to close-ended questions. The interviewer was able to gather that Ms. R did not feel physically well at the time of the interview, and that she did not want to use the "potty." The co-therapist offered Ms. R some refreshment, and several minutes later, Ms. R vocalized discomfort, placed a hand at her midsection, and vomited. She reacted with crying, and requested to be embraced by the co-therapist, which was permitted. After she was composed, Ms. R spent the remainder of the session lying on the couch, sucking her thumb, and watching videos of talking/singing puppets. Later in the day, Ms. R was found passed out asleep on her kitchen floor. Upon waking she was unable to recall how long she had slept, but witnesses estimate that she was unconscious for approximately 2 hours (see below).

ASSESSMENT: Ms. R was alert and oriented to person and place at the time of the interview, but was unable to estimate the time of day, month, year, and could not name the current or any former president of the United States. She was unable to describe her mood, but appeared dysthymic. A review of her file revealed that she has slept approximately 11 to 12 hours nightly for the last year. She denied a history of substance abuse or head trauma, and stated that she had never been treated for mental health issues previously, although her file indicates that she has been prescribed hugs and kisses daily for various psychological symptoms. There is even documentation that she has been placed in timeout for inappropriate behavior. No criminal history is noted. Her speech was staggered, eye contact was appropriate, and her thought process was fixated (on her "unhappy tummy"). Thought content was concrete, though peppered with anthropomorphic statements, usually applying emotional characteristics to some section of her bowels. She denied symptoms of psychosis, however, considering her disoriented state, her staggered speech, practice of thumb sucking, and ascribing human characteristics to non-human things, psychosis cannot be ruled out as of yet.

Possible diagnoses at this time include (a) traumatic brain injury, (b) drug induced psychosis - perhaps explaining the vomiting as well, (c) other psychotic disorders, (d) somatoform disorder with vomiting resulting from internalizing outside stressors - perhaps work or personal relationship struggles, or (e) being 3 years old and sick.

PLAN:

Build therapeutic and parental rapport throughout indefinite remaining sessions.
Encourage use of client's "words" to describe her emotional/physical discomfort.
Encourage periodic intakes of low impact, nutritious foods until vomiting behavior subsides.
Encourage napping as needed.
Cuddle client when requested.
Cuddle client when not requested.
Kiss client's soft little cheeks until therapists' lips are chapped and sore.

In Real Life

2011-02-13T11:10:00.003-07:00

For a few weeks now, Avey has been picking up on some of the subtle idioms and figures of speech we use. For example, lately she begins many of her questions with "In real life..." She might say something like, "Dad, in real life, do we eat vegetables?" It's been funny to hear her ask questions as if most of the rest of her day is imaginary.

Here she is, apparently pretending that her own face is a canvas:

For another example, the other day during dinner, she requested that I ask her "animal questions." So I asked her what kind of animal Snow White thought the logs were in a certain scene of the movie. After we established that they were alligators, Avey gave an empathetic expression and said, "And those alligators were sad because they couldn't eat her." I suppose that if the logs had been alligators, and the movie had not been a cartoon, and the story had been historical, the alligators may have, in fact, been disappointed to have lost a meal. Forgive me, but I find it hilarious that Avey puts herself in the head of a cartoon princesses' hysterical hallucination. And on top of it, she feels bad for its insatiable craving for human flesh. Don't get me wrong, she's on Snow White's side, but isn't it cute that she wants everybody to be happy?

Floaters

2011-02-06T09:30:00.002-07:00

We had an interesting day yesterday. We have local hot springs that we've wanted to visit for some time now (basically since we moved), and we finally made time to do so yesterday. We had taken Avey to some hot springs in Idaho a couple of years ago, and she absolutely loved it, but it had been so long and she loves to swim so much that we figured we should make the trip. Not to mention we have all been quite stressed of late, what with my job, Avey's potty training, and Kira's work and church responsibilities.

It turned out to be something quite new to all of us. You'll notice the title of the post. Luckily, I'm not referring to any accidents that Avey had - she did very well. That title refers to our fellow patrons. If you look on the spring's website, you may notice that suits are optional on Saturdays. We were a bit hesitant because of that, but decided that it probably wouldn't really be much of an issue, or we could avert our eyes anyway. Well, let me just sum it up by saying I saw more flesh yesterday than I care to recall. And not because it was that many people - it was a handful of very large people. I'm not sure why we had to pay to get in - enduring those sights bordered on torturous.

We, of course, opted to bathe clothed, and were in the minority, so we wondered if the others thought we were squares. Luckily, after a few minutes another younger couple came with their small child, and they were all clothed too.

On the whole, it was enjoyable and relaxing. Avey had a blast and didn't even seem to notice that the other people forgot their suits. I guess we dodged that traumatic experience but maybe we'll go when it's darker next time.

Precious Moments

2011-01-30T10:14:00.005-07:00

Avey's been doing very well with her potty training! She's had few accidents and a lot of success! The other day she was doing a little dance in the living room while playing with her crayons, and I asked, "Avey, do you feel like you need to go potty?" She responded, "No, I feel like I need to color." Har har har.

The other night at dinner, Avey told me that there was a monster in her mouth. Upon further inquiry, she revealed that her tongue was a monster that was trying to eat her food before she did. A difficult battle ensued, but Avey ascended triumphant. To show good sportsmanship, she invited her tongue to help her sing a special version of "Rudolf":

She constantly surprises us with her creativity. For example, the other morning, as I was getting ready to go to work, Avey also got ready for work. I asked her where she works, and she said, "Sesame Street":

We spent the afternoon yesterday in nearby Florence, CO, checking out several of the antique shops downtown. We walked by a little shop to see a woman just beginning a painting, and thought we would go watch for a little while. Avey was fascinated by the process, and seemed a bit confused by the woman's interpretation of a bird (a bit abstract). She probably would have stayed for several hours to see the end product, but alas, we had to move on. Now Avey's pretty intrigued by the idea of mixing her watercolors to create new colors. She's an artist in the making for sure.

Things are busy as usual otherwise. Thanks for stopping by!

Growing Up

2011-01-23T10:07:00.003-07:00

It seems that we've made progress. On Wednesday, Avey announced that she was now a big girl, and it was time to begin sporting her big kid underwear. Not one to stand against progress, Kira encouraged Avey's newfound maturity and began reinforcing the necessary elements of successful potty training! Avey has been on and off board and, thus, has had some wonderful successes and discouraging accidents. Kira has kept her eyes on the prize though, and is determined to keep moving forward. We're hopeful that in another week or so, Avey will be fully on board with her determination. She seems to understand the concept of "staying dry" very well, but doesn't quite seem to understand that it's okay to release when the time is right.

I can't say I blame her for having difficulty letting go of old habits. After all, she's been on this earth for just over 3 years, and all she has ever known is going in a diaper. Changing a life-long habit like that isn't easy to do in just a few days, especially for a girl like Avey, who prefers to have everything just so. It would be a little like asking me to begin moving everywhere on my knees - I'd show some resistance at times too. It's exhausting to break old habits!

Reunited

2011-01-16T09:36:00.004-07:00

Kira and Avey are back home! They seem to have had an enjoyable trip, despite picking up some illnesses in Utah. Avey was really amazed to find a few inches of snow here at home, and we spent some time yesterday building two snowmen - probably just in time too, as it's supposed to be in the 50s all week.

We didn't get a whole lot of time together since their homecoming, as Kira had a few clients the next night, and I had my normal work schedule. Luckily, we have 3 days together over the long weekend to make up for lost time!

Other than that, things have been pretty quiet. I'm still waiting to start sporting my ties at work, Avey's been catching up on her sleep and working on her usual toys, and Kira has been back into her routine of holding down the fort.

Climbing Ladders

2011-01-09T09:58:00.003-07:00

We gained a niece last week, and Kira took the opportunity to hitch a ride out to Utah to visit her siblings for a few days. Ergo, I have no pictures to post this week, no little anecdotes, and all that has really happened around the house is a lot of movie watching, some cleaning, and consuming junk food. I am again reminded why I need a family.

My loneliness also means that this is going to be a post about me. That's right, no one will know or blame you if you leave this page right now.

I actually do have some pretty big news of late. I have been promoted at work! I hired on a little below my qualification level, because at the time that was all they had open. But a couple months ago they opened up a higher position, so I applied and got the job! I'll still stay at my current facility, work with my same coworkers, but my uniform will change, I will have different duties, and a pretty hefty pay raise. The odd thing is, the promotion became official January 1st, so as far as payroll and HR are concerned, I moved up the ladder, but on the facility they are still so short-handed on staff that they can't afford to have me stop what I'm currently doing. What that boils down to is that I am getting paid more for doing my same job so far. Hey, it's fine with me. I'll just wait for the word to start doing different things.

That's it for me. I hope to have some photos or video to post next week.

Happy New Year

2011-01-02T10:26:00.003-07:00

Welcome to the kickoff of another wonderful year of The Ricks Experiment! We had quite the week. First of all, it finally snowed! I'm not sure it was quite the two inches I was holding out for, but we got some. Avey was absolutely thrilled, and made the most of it, paying no attention to the cold:

Unfortunately, Kira and I have also been pretty sick most of the week. She has had it worse than I, as I was able to go to work without passing out, and Avey has had a very slightly runny nose, but not much otherwise. Kira was hit really hard by it, but now appears to be on the road to recovery.

Otherwise, we've been keeping up with life's fast pace as best we can, and enjoying our Christmas gifts. Avey especially has been studying hers:

Here's to another year filled with fun and adventure!

Holiday Report

2010-12-26T14:02:00.004-07:00

It was another successful Christmas for us. We were able to spend it with family, give lots of good gifts, receive just as many, and most of all gorge ourselves on anything and everything that contained sugar. We opted for Avey to get her stocking Friday morning to whet her appetite, and then drove to spend the next couple of days with my family not too far away. Here is a little footage of Avey's experience:
Now that the festivities are over, I'm dreading the next four days back at work until another long weekend. I think Kira is terrified that Avey will now believe she is entitled to sugar cookies and candy canes after every meal, and Avey may actually suffer a little withdrawal from the steady supply of sweets and presents.

We are looking forward to 2011 and all that it will have to offer. I haven't even thought of any resolutions yet, but maybe around 11pm this next Saturday I'll start pondering those things. I'm pretty sure one of them will include something along the lines of more sleep.

Thank you all for another year of reading this blog. Here's to new laughs and tears in the coming year!

B.M.W.

2010-12-19T19:28:00.004-07:00

No, unfortunately the title does not refer to Bavarian Motor Works, but Bowel Movement Woes. Avey has been at the potty training age for quite a while now. The reader will recall a post from nearly a year ago in which we related a success story in Avey's attempt to defecate in the more culturally accepted manner. However, that appears to have been a fluke. She has, since this blessed event, taken a different approach to potty training. Her relationship to the water closet is difficult to grasp; she is at once fascinated and disinterested in the same moment. Her favorite bedtime book for a while was about a princess who learned to go to the potty; her Uncle Jesse mentioned there were deer feces in the backyard yesterday and she insisted we dig through the snow to find it (yes, it finally snowed a little bit!); in a pretend phone conversation with a muppet character who wanted to come to a party with her, she denied her admittance stating, "No you can't come - you would poop!"

She apparently thinks about it a lot, but when we gently suggest that she try to use the potty, she flatly refuses. I keep hoping that her thinking about it means that she is also processing through it, and that she will one day be ready and excited to dedicate herself to this new lifestyle, because we'd sure love it if she would make this step. But on the other hand, I also hope that she is this hesitant to drive and date. Hmmm... maybe if I pretend I do not want her to use the potty she would have it down in a day.

All Bundled Up

2010-12-12T10:42:00.002-07:00

Okay look. This has gone on long enough. I have to say something. I know it sounded like a good idea at the time, and, I admit, I smile a little bit every morning too, but the fact is that I think it's time for a change. When December 12th rolls around and there's still no sign of snow in the forecast, it gets a guy wondering about the future. I really don't want to jeopardize our wonderful relationship, but you have to realize, I have my limits too. There is just so much a human being can put up with, and I'm just about there. I have wants and desires just like anybody else. So let me make this perfectly clear; I want 2 inches of snow on the ground before the end of the week, or I'm moving on. I know this sounds selfish, but I have needs, and if you can't meet them, maybe I need to go someplace else. I've heard before that I just need to give it a chance, but you know what - it's been like, 9 months now with all the "sunshine," and "warmth," and "vitamin D." It's been a good run, too. Don't misunderstand me - there is so much to love about your warmth - I'm sure you'll be a really great fit for someone, but I'm just not sure it's me. Those 9 months ago you were really what I needed. I looked forward to being with you, and couldn't stop thinking about you when I was stuck in classes or my office. But I really think that the time has come to cool things down. I need to begin concentrating on other things, like sledding, snowmen, pulverizing the neighbors with tightly packed balls of crystallized water particles. Maybe you could come around every now and then and we could heat things up like old times. But I just need a few months to get my head straight. If this doesn't work out, please understand that there will always be a place for you in my life, I'm just not sure where that is yet.

Love,

Eli

Preparation for Christmas

2010-12-05T10:48:00.002-07:00

Yesterday we put up our Christmas lights! We are pretty pleased with how it turned out:

Many people do not realize how the tradition of putting lights on houses began. Well, actually I don't either. Our motivation was partly to get into the Christmas spirit, partly to get me some exercise, partly to keep up with the Jones's next door (who put up a huge inflatable scene of a snowman family yesterday - I'm just saying), and partly to make sure planes don't fly into our house (it seems to be working so far, anyway).

We also made a special trip downtown to see the Parade of Lights last night. It was quite impressive for such a small town. Avey's favorite part was all the dogs who came to see the parade too. She also spoke to the Santa impersonator, and seemed to be quite impressed that he could talk.
Now all we have left is the Christmas shopping [nervous laugh]. But Avey is easily pleased, as witnessed by her joy from a few random articles of clothing, a stick horse, and a pompom. We'll have a great holiday, I'm sure.

Turkey Day 2010

2010-11-28T15:39:00.002-07:00

Annual pie day (or "Thanksgiving" - whatever it's called) came around just in time this year. We've been away from family enough since our move that we were desperately in need of a family fix. We were fortunate to have Kira's brother and his wife join on her side, and all of my siblings were able to be home for the holiday. True to form, Avey dove right into the social scene, demanding entertainment from everyone and occasionally delivering it through the medium of song. Somehow, we managed to get through the whole celebration without any pictures to show for it, so you'll just have to take my word for it this time that Avey was pretty cute and we were pretty stuffed.

Now we have plans to Christmasize the house. I received some lights for my birthday this year, and we live in a house, so I am out of excuses - except for the fact that I don't own a ladder - that might buy me some time. Seriously though, I'm excited to be able to express myself through the language of lights. I'm sure pictures are to come.

Missing the Mark

2010-11-21T11:36:00.006-07:00

As is the sacred duty of fathers, I attempt to teach good morals and values to my daughter at every opportunity. Ergo, when she requested that we read Fanny's Dream for her bedtime story earlier this week, I seized the occasion. It is a delightful book, taking a different stance at the Cinderella story. As a synopsis: Fanny is not very beautiful or dainty, yet wishes to marry a prince (or someone like that). She sits outside on the night of a fancy ball, waiting for her fairy godmother to come and use magic to make everything right. But she waits in vain, for the fairy godmother never comes. In her stead, a nice man named Heber comes and asks if she'll marry him, work at his side, stay with him through thick and thin, through good times and bad. She eventually agrees and spends the next several years working very hard, with many good times and many difficulties that are commonplace in life. Then one night, Fanny heads out to the watermelon patch to get a melon, when who should appear but her fairy godmother - years late, but offering to make things right and send her off to a ball that very night to meet a prince! Fanny considers for a moment, remembering her three children and husband just inside the door of her small home. She recalls the love and warmth with them, along with the years of sweat and pain that she has put into her little family, which gave her precious moments in return. She decides that she does not want to go to the ball, and turns to go inside to her family. She decided that, although her husband is no prince and her apron is no glamorous gown and her children are not loyal subjects, they are all close enough.

This is precisely the point I was trying to explain to Avey at the end of the book. I thought myself very clever as I attempted to walk Avey through it in very simple terms, first asking her why Fanny didn't go to the ball, and then suggesting some ideas. Avey seemed to listen intently, awestruck by my years of wisdom. After I had finished explaining the moral of the story, Avey's response was, "That [Fanny's] doggy don't have hands, so he can't pick a melon."

Well, that's a good point too, I suppose.

Up to Our Knees in Leaves

2010-11-14T08:11:00.003-07:00

It's a bittersweet transition from an apartment to a house. Although I did landscaping as part of my first job right after college, we have not had our own yard to take care of for the first five years of our marriage. Now, we suddenly have a large yard with half a dozen very tall and very leafy trees. As tends to be the pattern about this time of year, the trees are shedding their leaves all over the lawn. Before this week, I had done some periodic raking to simply maintain, but this last week's cold winds pulled nearly all of the remaining leaves from their branches to make a virtual ocean of browns, yellows, and oranges. This video was taken long before the tidal wave of foliage:

As you may imagine, Avey was a huge help with the job; Kira and I handled the raking, while Avey assumed the role of jumping in the piles, stopping us every few seconds to show us a particular leaf she found to be of interest, and occasionally telling us she was bored. We got the job done yesterday, but noticed that there are still a few stubborn leaves in the trees, so we may have to head out again and do it all over.

At least we don't need to worry about mowing right now. We'll get this whole routine down in a few years, I'm sure.

A Happy Union

2010-11-07T11:57:00.002-07:00

It's been quite the week! Most momentous was that I bought our frog a wife! Yeah, the frog formerly known as Ursula turned out to be a dude. I had a hunch that he was after doing some reading a while back on the subject, and he exhibited several symptoms of maleness (it's sort of like a disease, right?). It was really obvious after he'd been "singing" for several nights in a row. A little research revealed that only males sing, and that he was probably lonely. I decided I'd make a great matchmaker, and swung by the pet store to pick him up a wife.

Of course, we couldn't call him Ursula in front of his new bride - that would be embarassing - so we decided to give them both new names. Avey liked the suggestion "Timothy" for the male, and she came up with "Foovy" for the female. That's right - Foovy.

Oh, and the fish, Jeffery, has made a full recovery from the infection. Thank you all for your prayers and cards, and all the flowers.

In other news, I'm getting even older. Today is my birthday. Kira has made it a wonderful couple of days, including eating out, family visits, sleeping in, and delicious treats. Avey was a big help at opening presents.

Thanks for reading! More news to come!

Spooks

2010-10-31T12:58:00.002-06:00

Well, we had a pretty good Halloween. Avey decided that she would wear her ladybug costume, but insisted that she was really a butterfly:The glasses, headband, and bracelets were her idea. She had a great time checking out all of the other kids' costumes, and she was very good at shouting "Trunk or Treat!"After her bucket was about a third full, she announced that she was all done, so we finished it up and went home.

We had a lot of fun carving pumpkins too. Avey picked from several sets of eyes, noses, and mouths we presented to her and chose the combination below on the left. I think she did a really good job. Kira designed and carved the one on the right:
Avey was very well behaved, considering she had been sick with a runny nose and slight fever earlier in the week. Speaking of illness, our home has been stricken this week, apparently. Well, it's not been that bad. I went to feed my frog the other night, and I noticed that my fish's right eye was about three times its normal size, and looked like it would pop at any moment. After a little research, I found out that Jeffery had a bacterial infection. After a few days of fish-version medical treatment, he's doing much better now.

I also completed the training for my job this week, so I begin the orientation at the facility this week! Hoorah for employment!

Visitors

2010-10-24T10:06:00.002-06:00

Avey's quote of the week:

"Jesus, I'm havin' a cucumber!"

The reader will recall that one of Avey's favorite pastimes is to pretend her mother and I are characters from her favorite shows. Well, recently we found a couple of animated stories from the New Testament on VHS at a thrift store. Since watching them, Avey has decided that Jesus is a fun cartoon character, and subsequently has us imitate His voice and mannerisms, just as she would have us "talk like Mickey" or any other cartoon character. One night while picking up her toys, Kira was filling the role of Jesus, and Avey was picking up her plastic groceries. She had a toy cucumber in her hand, pretended to take a bite, and the above line spilled out of her mouth. I laughed for a good long while - I sure never thought I would hear a sentence like that!

In other news, we went to a corn maze/pumpkin patch yesterday. It really got me into the Fall spirit, and Avey had a good time - as long as she was in the big pit of corn. She was pretty bored with the actual corn maze, but enjoyed the hay ride and is excited to carve pumpkins later today.
We've had a lot of encounters with wildlife lately too. It reminds us just how rural this area is. We have deer sightings all the time in our neighborhood, and earlier in the week Kira caught a photo of 3 deer in our front yard, hopefully eating crab apples (the bane of my existence, along with onions):
We've also had a feline visitor (or perhaps "stalker" would be a more appropriate word) for the past few days. Avey and I were playing out in the yard one evening when a black cat approached us. We gave it some friendly caresses and it followed us into the back yard. It stayed until we went inside, at which point it stared at us through our patio window and meowed incessantly, occasionally clawing at the window. We know it's a neighbor's cat, but the thing shows up most mornings to watch Avey eat her breakfast, and comes by at least twice a day to beg to be let in. Fat chance says I. It's nice to have visitors, but we prefer the type who do not leave fur all over our carpet and furniture. But feel free to eat our crab apples!

Another Day, Another Dollar

2010-10-17T13:14:00.003-06:00

I've been in training for the past couple of weeks before actually beginning my job at the penitentiary. Training has been an interesting experience. Some of the classes are rather dull, covering legal stuff and such, while others are very hands-on - including putting classmates in full body restraints. I shouldn't have to do much of that stuff in my position (mental health), but we're supposed to know it all just in case.

This week I had a very interesting experience, however. I knew that this week the class was going to be exposed to oleoresin capsicum (pepper spray), because those who will be correctional officers will need to know the effects and know if they can function even after some exposure. I had been told that all clinical people would not be allowed to participate in that training, though, because of the whole "do no harm" oath and such. Thus, I was surprised to learn just a few hours before the actual exposure that I was supposed to participate. Apparently it gets used enough at the facility where I will work, that they want to be sure that I understand what it can do if I'm exposed. Good thing I'm salaried, huh?

(Here's Avey after putting all of her "friends" to sleep on the kitchen floor)

So what happened? We all drove to the department's shooting range, where the instructors drenched the inside of a small building with the spray. We then waited our turns to enter the building, shoot a target with a can of spray, and then exit the building and carry out some small tasks.

I caught a breath of it a couple of times on the outside, and it was like taking a deep sniff of some very spicy hot wings (oleoresin capsicum is pretty much cayenne pepper on crack). I coughed a little, but it wasn't too bad. Then it was my turn to go inside. Everyone reacts to it a little differently, and I was pretty surprised to find that it didn't bother my lungs or throat very much, but it felt like a thousand bees stinging my eyes all at once - and not those cute honeybees who just want to be on their way to the next flower, but some sadistic, evil, bee/hornet/porcupine hybrids who live for one purpose: to cause me large amounts of discomfort.

Anyway, after some cold water in the face I was good as new, but let me tell you, that quickly convinced me never to commit a crime, or if I do, never to get caught, or if I do get caught, not to mouth off to anyone holding a can of that stuff.

Oddly enough, I've been craving spicy foods lately. Maybe if I get enough Tabasco in my system I'll be immune to the spray next time...

Idolatry

2010-10-10T12:15:00.003-06:00

There's a lot about our new place that I really like. I am a huge fan of our garage, I love the yard, and the space gives us plenty of room to stretch out. But I think my favorite part is something we brought with us:

I've had a bigger TV on my wishlist for a few months now. For the first 5 years of our married life we've been watching our movies on a 20" screen like cavemen. Finally, after saving lots of pennies, we've upgraded to full HD! We tried it out last night with our first Blu-ray Netflix, The Water Horse. It's amazing how clear and sharp it all is.

The stupid thing is that now we've moved far enough into the boonies that we can't get an antenna signal. We're really not big enough into TV that we want to go with cable - the new one is mostly for movies - but I'd really like to be able to watch the news at night. So it's not like we have a nice TV that we can't do anything with, but it's been feeling that way as I've tried out different options and gotten no signal at all. Oh well, the movies look fantastic, and I can still hook up the ol' laptop to watch streaming video.

In the meantime, we've been getting a better feel for the town, and I've been in training with the Department of Corrections all week. It will sure be nice to have the day off tomorrow!

Endless Birthday

2010-10-03T20:31:00.003-06:00

For a parent who is in complete and total denial about his daughter's aging, I sure did nothing to discourage three days of festivities this week. On her actual birthday, we were still quite busy with the unpacking, and hadn't actually done much shopping for her, so we all went to the store and picked out some gifts while also buying some nice curtains for the new place. We had a small little party with our own little family, and Avey was graced throughout the day with phone calls from her growing circle of fans.

We felt bad that we had to move relatively quickly, because we had promised Avey that we could go to an arcade near the Springs, but then moved an hour away. We debated what to do and decided that it would be best to have a celebration the weekend we were going to the concert in Denver. We drove up Saturday morning, took Avey to the arcade where she rode on all sorts of kiddie rides, and that night Kira's parents graciously watched over her while we went to our concert in Denver.

That makes two days of celebration, but that wasn't quite enough for us. Today we had the real parties with the grandparents and Avey's uncles. Her Nana made her a beautiful cake:
Then, this afternoon, she had another party with Kira's side of the family! She may get used to birthweeks instead of birthdays, if we're not careful...
The main reason we scheduled the trip in the first place was for the Muse concert. I was very excited for it, as they are probably my favorite band currently. Unfortunately, we came home rather disappointed; the stadium at which it was held was so big that the sound really suffered. While I could hear the drums very well, they all but drowned out the vocals and guitar. And the light show was really impressive, but it was a bit too much for us old people. The band also did very little to interact with the audience - almost no talking at all. I'm used to concerts where I get to know the band a little, but this one left me wanting. Oh well, at least I get to say I went, right?

Burst Bubble

2010-09-26T08:23:00.004-06:00

There's a lot about parenthood for which no one prepared me. I mean, I generally knew what I was getting into as far as losing sleep, changing nightmarish diapers, cleaning up spills and the like. I'm the second of six, so I had witnessed those kinds of things plenty and felt prepared.

But over the past few months, I've become increasingly aware of the worst horror of parenthood: the kids grow up.

Now I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Well duh, Eli. Of course they grow up. That comes with the territory." I guess I realized that my Avey would grow up eventually, but no one prepared me for how fast, or how hard, it would be.

It all came psychologically crashing down on me about 6 months ago. My dear aunt has been periodically shipping her daughter's clothes to us for when Avey's ready to fit into them. Kira and I were going through them when I held up an item that was particularly big. It hit me in that moment that she is growing - all the time! She is going to be big enough to fit into those clothes, whether I'm ready for it or not. And I am far from ready.

Now, as her third birthday approaches, I am constantly haunted by the realization that too soon, I will be unable to ever hold my 2-year-old Avey again. Too soon, she will be big enough to get dressed all by herself. Too soon she'll decide that sand stars are no longer cool. Too soon she, like the rest of us, will learn to overlook the smallest beauties of the world. She'll walk right by a ladybug without admiring it for several minutes and making me talk for it. Too soon, she'll realize that Kermit, Gonzo, and Elmo are just puppets. Too soon she, like the rest of us, will begin to worry about things that don't matter.

I admit that my distress is almost entirely selfish. I do want her to grow and learn, but even more, I want to continue to experience the world through her eyes. I want to always think of the wind as a chance to fly a kite - not as a nuisance that will mess up my hair. I want to always see a pile of sand as a wonderland - not another hassle to keep out of clothes. I want to go outside and notice the chirping of the birds, even above the noise of traffic. I want to always get a huge smile from a cheesy song. But most selfishly of all, I want to always see myself the way she sees me: strong, wise, competent, flawless, and invincible. What a miracle it is to experience unconditional love from the embodiment of innocence!

Although I am fortunate to have had a lot of time at home with her for the past 3 years, it is pitifully short of adequate. I've missed things. I've been at school when she wanted me. I've been tired when she wanted to play. I've had to work when she wanted to go on a walk. And too soon, I won't get to do those things with her 2-year-old self. Time just slips mercilessly by. And it is not enough. Maybe if I could spend a lifetime with her every week of her life I could be ready for this next birthday. Maybe that would be enough. But as it is now, 365 days to turn a year older is entirely unfair.

I'm sure that age 3 will have just as many beautiful moments and hilarious phases, yet I can't help but feel that I'm being forced to close a chapter in a book that I haven't finished reading. And it is the most refreshing book I've ever opened.

Packing

2010-09-19T09:21:00.001-06:00

Can't write - packing. But for a refresher on how I feel about the whole process, click here. Better stuff next week.

House Finding

2010-09-12T10:23:00.005-06:00

Well, it took a lot of searching, and a little more travel, but we found a place to live. It's got a garage and a nice big yard:

Oh, I'm sorry - did you think that picture was it? No, that's Buckingham Palace, silly. I probably shouldn't have put that there, because now whatever place we really got will look pretty lame. Well, here it goes:

Oh, wait - no that's not it either. That's just some old shack. But now whatever we show you will look pretty good! That's psychology!

More pictures to come, of course, but this is the place! It has a large backyard for Avey to explore, a very big kitchen for lots of cookie-baking, a garage, and plenty of space for us to store all of our junk.

We should be moving in in the next couple of weeks, so if anyone is around Colorado, I'll have doughnuts ready to trade for a little elbow grease!

House Hunting

2010-09-05T10:51:00.002-06:00

You may recall from the last post that we will be moving in the next few weeks to be closer to my new place of work. Kira has done a wonderful job researching places to look at, and yesterday we set up to see several options in Canon City, just a few miles from the prison. It gave us a good feel for the size of the town, and we saw quite the range of homes. The first one was humongous - much more space than we needed - and the second was teeny tiny. Then we saw several in between: old, new, trashy, classy, etc. Avey had a blast checking out all of the potential stomping grounds, and was a great sport being in and out of her car seat all day.

Alas, after all of the time and hunting, we think we should take another trip to see a few more before deciding. Maybe we're just spoiled, but we want it to have everything, but also not cost too much. And the biggest hurdle is, I still haven't seen one with a racquetball court.

Reality still has not fully sunk in for me. Even picturing us living in a new place has not motivated me enough to start packing. Eventually, I'm sure the thought of commuting every day will.

Employment

2010-08-29T11:57:00.002-06:00

Biggest news of the week is that I was offered a job! I've been working since graduation as a consultant for a research firm in Denver, and that's been paying the bills just fine, but my contract ends in the next two months, so I was feeling a lot of pressure to get something full time (compounded by the state of the economy). I will be working in the department of corrections with mental health, so it's perfectly within my field, and it's the same population I've worked with for the last year. I've been thinking that the law aspect of psychology is probably where I want to end up, so this is a great fit!

The downside of all of this is that we will need to move soon. We're debating on how soon and how close to the job, and just starting to wrap our heads around the thought of packing. Ugh...

Ink Blots & Benches

2010-08-22T13:51:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago, Avey and I were out on one of her favorite pastimes - a good old fashioned walk - when we happened upon a bench that had been neglected for some time. It was missing one of the planks that made the area to sit upon, and one of the supporting metal bars was dangling below, making it a precarious place to rest one's hindquarters, to say the least.

Avey was quite insistent that we both sit upon said flimsy furniture, however, and so I, being the complete and total pushover of a father I am, took a deep breath and slowly entrusted all 175 pounds of me to its care. Luckily, it held as I sat on the far left side, closer to the supporting legs and Avey sat to the far right.

She was in quite the blissful state, mostly kneeling and looking at the metalwork. She referred to it several times as the monkey bench, which I did not understand for a few minutes. At the zoo earlier this summer, she enjoyed sitting upon the benches that had been crafted in the shapes of animals, such as a rhinoceros, gorilla, giraffe, etc. For this reason, I searched the structure of the bench trying to understand what characteristics it shared with a monkey. Finally, Avey helped to paint the picture she was seeing by pointing out the monkey's eyes. In a moment, it struck me too. She saw the face of a monkey in the design. The spirals are eyes, the wooden oval is the monkey's mouth:

I chuckled to myself after realizing the connection. I found it interesting that I may never have looked at the bench and seen the monkey if she had not pointed it out to me. It's a lot like Rorschach's ink blot test. He believed that by showing a person neutral stimuli, the person would project things on his or her mind into the pictures. In essence, a person sees what he or she wants to see. There must be some truth to that, because Avey usually has animals on the brain, and saw one in what I might have thought the least likely of places. But now, I can't look at the bench in any other way. It is and will forever be the monkey bench.

I'm so glad to have another little perspective on our surroundings, and to have the theme be something so innocent, optimistic, and sweet!

Two Weddings and the Recovery

2010-08-15T10:40:00.003-06:00

Kira's side celebrated two weddings in the past 8 days, which meant lots of family in town and chances for Avey to dress up. Unfortunately, we weren't able to spend as much time with the family as we'd hoped, due mostly to colds that have slowly spread to all three of us. We had planned to go water skiing with the gang, but Avey woke up with a fever after a rough night struggling to breathe through her nose. Kira caught it a couple of days later, and it hit me hard yesterday. Luckily, Avey was able to ride horses with her cousins in a little window where she was almost fully recovered and before it had really knocked Kira out:

After a very lazy Saturday and earlier bed time, we're feeling like the worst of it has passed. A day of naps is definitely in order though. Maybe I'll have something more entertaining to blog about next week. In the meantime, don't anybody try to kiss us.

Phases

2010-08-08T10:56:00.002-06:00

Members of our little family seem to go through phases fairly often. Avey, for example, has a new favorite movie every week. She's recently gotten into my socks - literally:

She's always liked to play dress up, but I'm not sure what the appeal is of my socks.

She recently has also decided that she and I should switch roles. After exhausting all of the characters in her shows to have me mimic, the other day she told me, "Daddy, talk silly like Avey!" So I have taken on her role, and she tries to take on mine, sometimes feeding me pretend bites during meals, and putting pretend bandages on pretend owies.

My siblings and I have been in a new phase of putting puzzles together. We just finished one last week and began another last night.

I was in another phase last month. After our Lake Powell adventure and lack of normal hygiene, I had the beginnings of a decent beard. I decided that I'd see it to the end and find out what I looked like in a beard. Here I am right before I shaved it off:

Yep. Phases come and go around here. I guess they keep life somewhat entertaining at times. At least Kira has been patient with us.

The Darn Hand

2010-08-01T09:04:00.003-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, as I was struggling to come up with new ways to keep the breakfast routine exciting for her majesty, I thought I'd try one of the oldest daddy tricks in history. It's been known by several names through the ages: "the Claw," for example; I'm pretty sure Plato referred to it as an "animal spirit hand." In any case, I tried it. I would bring Avey her food, cut it up into small bites, and then my left hand became suddenly possessed - its only purpose to find and exploit Avey's most ticklish ribs. It caught her off guard, as it intended, and I naturally had no control over it, but was able to subdue it with some effort with my right hand. After another few attacks, Avey quickly learned that she needed to keep an eye out for what she has come to call "The Darn Hand." The Darn Hand has become quite popular since its first appearance, and Avey often solicits its antics.

A few days ago, I wanted to quiz Avey again on her left and right, just to keep it fresh. I pointed to her right hand and said, "Avey, which hand is this?" She said, "This is my darn hand," and then proceeded to tickle herself with her right hand while trying to overpower it with her left hand. She eventually succeeded.

In another strange turn of events, her uncle and aunt who live nearby have also recently developed darn hands. We may soon have a localized epidemic.

In other news, my dear wife gave me a day off yesterday, taking Avey for a long walk in the morning so I could sleep in and then exercise. I had forgotten how amazing it feels to wake up when my body is ready to. For the past few weeks I have been commuting all over southern Colorado for my job as a consultant for a research firm, and I often get home quite late. The driving also wears me out, so it was very nice to get to do a little self care. It's so nice to have a caring spouse!

Also, as of yesterday, I am going to see Muse! I can't tell you how excited I am for that - they're probably my favorite current band, and I missed a chance to see them about 3 years ago. I'm counting down the days!

Picture Post

2010-07-25T20:04:00.002-06:00

A picture is worth a thousand words, or in this case, at least one: "Cute!"

Reunions

2010-07-18T10:53:00.002-06:00

My dad returned home from overseas with his new wife this week. He'd been gone for about 7 months, so it was nice to finally have him back and meet his wife too. They brought with them several gifts from Europe, mostly for Avey, who has been playing with them every chance she gets:

Kira and I will also attend our first high school reunion later today! We're curious to see who's done what, married whom, lives where, etc. We're also interested to see the reactions by people who don't know that we got married, and show off our beautiful daughter!

Celebration

2010-07-11T11:40:00.002-06:00

We had an enjoyable week, first spending Monday in celebration of the birth of our nation, and then celebrating the birth of my wife and Avey's mother! We spent the first at some local festivities where Avey got to enjoy her favorite pastime of riding on a little train, and the rest of us got to celebrate in the traditional American method of gorging ourselves with fried foods and sweets. If only we had more excuses to increase caloric intakes... Alas...

Kira's birthday was a small but rich celebration with family, while getting away from some of the burdens of everyday routine. We spent the evening in Manitou at a massive arcade, coming home with spoils of tiny blue and purple rings, 10 tickets each.

Avey really got into the celebration. She "helped" me bake Kira's cake, mostly meaning that she kept asking for a taste at every step in the process. After it was done and frosted, Avey inquired about when we might partake of it probably every 10 to 30 minutes. After assuring her that she would get to try some after Kira blew out the candles, she seemed satisfied, but still made sure I remembered our arrangement by reminding me every hour or so.
It's hard to believe how the years pass by. We have our 10-year high school reunion this week, and in less than 3 months, our little Avey will have another birthday too!

Lake Powell

2010-07-04T10:14:00.003-06:00

I apologize to all of Avey's fans for the lack of a post last Sunday. We were on a little family vacation with Kira's side at Lake Powell in Utah. It was quite the experience. We stayed on a houseboat on the lake, slept on the roof under the stars, hiked up the cliffs, and swam or skied to keep cool. Here are a few highlights:

Avey seemed to enjoy the later bedtimes and wide open swim time. Interestingly, she didn't really get in the water much after the first day. She enjoyed floating on it, but didn't really get wet past her waist for the rest of the trip. To our great delight, she's been catching up on sleep since we got back: some nights getting 13 hours of consecutive sleep! It was quite the adventure for us all!

Happy 4th everyone!

Tribute to Avey's Dad

2010-06-20T20:53:00.003-06:00

I have often heard that in general, mothers are the nurturers of children. The parent that listens, offers support, teaches, and what I sometimes call the person who offers the “mushy-gushy feelings”. However, in our family, this is not accurate. In memory of Father’s Day, I proudly proclaim on the worldwide web that Eli provides Avey with excellent support, validation, empathy, patience, respect, and dignity. Yet, he does this without losing his manly identity. If the truth were told, I feel much closer to him in the moments I see him being the tender, kind parent he is. He teaches me daily by example of how to treat a 2-and-a-half year old with respect by listening to her endless requests, and about patience by repeating the same phrases again and again, or talking in a requested character voice. He teaches me further about patience when he offers her several ways of accomplishing a task, or waiting and giving her every opportunity to comply with a request. In fact, if Eli had a possible fault as a father, it might be that he is too patient and generous. By Eli’s daily interactions with Avey he reminds me that she deserves and requires just as much respect, validation, and needs to be listened to as much as any adult would require to feel loved and supported. So, thank you, Eli for your great example to me of what a father, and parent should be. Thank you for being my equal companion in bearing the heavy, but completely fulfilling responsibility of being a parent. Here is to many more fulfilling years in our journey of parenthood. Love, Kira

Then....

And now.

Fathers' Hats

2010-06-20T09:00:00.001-06:00

As another Father's Day comes around, I have begun to reflect upon the many different types of work that are associated with fatherhood, at least around our home. Here are a few of the "hats" I have worn over the past few years, in no particular order:

Chauffeur
Interpreter
Salesman
Hostage Negotiator
Diplomat
Law Enforcement Official
Sanitation Technician
Hair Stylist
Fashion Designer
Pedicurist
Manicurist
Dental Hygienist
Actor
Voice Talent
Life Coach
Personal Therapist
Bodyguard
Dietitian
Phonetician
Crayon Art Critic
Movie Screener
Imaginary Food Taste Tester
Singer/Voice Coach
Physical Therapist - specializing in walking development
Teacher
Mentor
Confidant
Teammate
Storyteller
First Responder in Crises (mostly kissing "owies")
Speech Pathologist
Punching Bag
Personal Chef
Janitor
and, my favorite role, Playmate

For time's sake, we sum all of these roles into one word: "father." With all of the many roles a father must play, and the thousands of "hats" they wear day to day, I tip my hat (pun entirely intended, and probably awkwardly worked in) to all of the men in the world who have been any one or more of these things, or thousands of others, to me. Happy Fathers' Day!

As a part of our celebration, we went to the Wishing Star Petting Zoo on Saturday: something I've been waiting to do for a long time! Here are a few highlights:

When we got in the car and asked her what her favorite animal was she said, "The cow statue." It was a little plastic cow head stuck on a bale of hay. Oh well... at least I enjoyed petting the bunnies...

Heroes

2010-06-13T12:12:00.006-06:00

Earlier this week I spoke with a father of two. His children are now 25 and 16 years old, and when he learned that mine is nearing 3, he reflected aloud on what a wonderful age that is because the child still believes her Daddy is Superman. "You're enormous to her at that age. You're the strongest, most admirable person in her world. She really believes you're invulnerable."I reflected upon his statements later in the week after Avey watched The Great Muppet Caper for the first time. With her habit of assigning names of characters to the rest of the people she knows, I assumed she would do the same with this movie, an old favorite of mine. True to form, she fell in love with the muppets and was about to assign me a character. "What's Isaac's [an uncle's] name?" she solicited my input. "Gonzo?" I offered. She agreed. "And what's your name?" she tempted. I went out on a limb with, "Um... Kermit?" I was met with laughter. "No!I'm Kermit! You're Miss Piggy!" This was the moment that the gentleman's words rung in my mind's ear - Daddy is Superman. For several minutes I tried to find some way to liken Miss Piggy to Superman, and then hung my head in shame.

This was quite the week otherwise too. Kira was at Girls' Camp most of the week, leaving us with plenty of daddy-daughter time. Turns out our modem was the culprit in our inability to upload pictures, so I got a new one (hence the pictures). We're loving the nice weather, and doing our best to relax a tiny bit this Summer.

Too Much Fun

2010-06-06T13:08:00.005-06:00

Our financial institution loves us. Just to show us their appreciation (and promote the grand opening of their new building), they had a big party on Saturday. We received an invitation in the mail a couple of weeks ago and it didn't really sound terribly appealing, but Avey and I were home alone for several hours and it was a lovely day, so we decided to attend. It ended up being much bigger than I expected! Avey got a balloon animal - a tiger jumping through a ring of fire - and a little spray-on tattoo of a flower. She and I also sat and ate popcorn, hot dogs, and tried a snow cone!

There were four of those inflatable slides, bouncing rooms, and an obstacle course. I thought Avey would love those for sure. We went to the first slide, where she looked around for a couple of seconds before reaching for me and requesting to get down. I thought maybe it was because there were some bigger children on it. So we tried the next one - just a place to bounce. She didn't even want to crawl through the small door to get in! So we tried the next one - another bouncy room. The entrance was bigger, so she entered, and then just sat down and sort of rocked back and forth. She didn't even try the fourth one.

Even if I thought it was a bit odd, she insisted that it was lots of fun. I suppose that's all that matters.

(We're still having bizarre internet problems [we can't upload anything], so we'll have to save pictures for another time. Sorry)

Evening Away

2010-05-30T19:29:00.003-06:00

Every now and then we like to have a completely unproductive week; it tends to be good for the soul and sanity. It's usually nice if we intend it to be unproductive though. For some reason it just does psychological damage when the week is completely unproductive despite our best efforts to make it worthwhile. I suppose it all started last week when Avey was up 2-4 time per night with a cough. That left Kira and me with a hefty sleep deficit for this week. It caught up with me on Tuesday, when I couldn't get back to sleep after Avey's 3am consoling session. I realized that I too was getting what she had, and felt achy and sore the rest of the day.

Wednesday was spent running around town on errands for other people, but then that evening I had committed to facilitate a make up session for a class at a prison an hour's drive from here (I've been working as a research consultant for about 4 months now). I had never been to this particular facility before, and when I got there, they had me wait for an hour in their lobby while they tried to figure out if it was okay to let me in. Apparently, somebody didn't sign the paperwork so that they knew I was coming. At least I got paid for waiting there...

Friday we had planned to drop Avey off at Kira's parents' house for the night so that we could have a "getaway" at a bed and breakfast in town. While it was fun, and included a lot of binging on chocolate, we may have awoken more tired than when we fell asleep. It's dangerous to get one's body used to functioning with less than 8 hours of sleep, and to then remind it what 10 hours can be like. The body seems to get greedy and think it deserves even more. It may take us a few days to get back that balance of being just tired enough to function. Maybe when the kids are all out of the house we'll actually be well-rested.

(Sorry - I had pictures up, but Picasa didn't actually post them for some reason. Our internet has been having uploading problems, so I'll try and make up for the lack of visual stimuli later)

Gradjamation, Round III

2010-05-23T10:44:00.002-06:00

There's no better way to celebrate the end of 2 years of grueling hard brain work and inadequate sleep than to dress up in a dorky, ridiculously hot robe and sit hip to hip in a crowd of hundreds of people waiting to hear your name mispronounced so that you can dash across a stage for 3 seconds and pose for 2 pictures while trying not to trip over the edges of the robe.

I'm sure that I'll look back at the experience with fondness some day. I must admit it was marvelous to have so many family nearby who made efforts to attend and commiserate with me. Avey was a good sport through the whole thing, and seems to have felt it was worth the wait to get to play with my tassel.
I'm not sure how Kira ever did this 4 times (High School, Associate's, Bachelor's, Master's). I still don't feel like I've recovered. Now seems like a great time for a little vacation.

Toddlerisms

2010-05-16T12:31:00.003-06:00

Avey constantly surprises us. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes that's a bad thing, and sometimes that's an hilarious thing! The other night at dinner, for example, Kira noticed a little scratch on Avey's wrist. She, being the conscientious mother that she is, closely inspected it and inquired as to the cause by asking, "Where did you get a scratch?" Avey, apparently feeling that her parents were getting senile, pointed to the scratch on her wrist and answered, "Right here."

Also this week, Avey and I went to visit my mother. Avey saw a candle on the stove and asked if we could light it. She has blown them out before, and enjoyed it, so I indulged her and we lit the candle. She then said, "Should we sing a song?" Nana and I agreed, so we let Avey decide what we should sing. She began singing Happy Birthday, and chose her own name for the celebrated. After the song, she blew out the candle and suggested, in her sweetest voice, "Should we have cake?"

She thinks like I do.

Mommies' Day

2010-05-09T09:45:00.005-06:00

A happy Mother's Day to every woman out there who has shaped the life of a young one! Once again, we have a day dedicated to the wonderful women in our lives. While the actual pregnancy and birth are nothing less than heroic, I think what really sets a mother apart is her willingness to sacrifice for the little ones who depend upon her so much. It takes a lot of courage, effort, and pure charity to spend countless hours in dedicated, concentrated service of little children. We are all in debt to the women who influenced our lives for the better, and I am glad to have a fantastic mother of my own, and a spectacular mother for my child!
As a small part of the celebration, we all went to the zoo in town! We'd been talking about going for months, but the last time we had planned on it was over Spring Break, where it ended up snowing all day! It was windy yesterday, and cold at times, but we did have a splendid time. Avey's favorite animals were the giraffes. She got to feed them crackers and see their long, purple tongues. She got slobbered on a couple of times.
The most difficult (and, in retrospect, funniest) part of the trip was that she rode a little train about 15 minutes into the zoo visit, and then asked about every 3 minutes of the rest of the visit to go back and ride it again. We told her every time, "We're going to see a few more animals and then we'll ride it one more time before we go home." She still asked us several times in between animals.

In other news, it turns out that I'm not going to do more school just yet. A few job possibilities have come up which sound very nice, and the possibility of making some good money before returning to school yet again sounds exciting! I'll still be working for the prison and the university for the summer, but will let you know what and where we end up!

Master's Piece

2010-05-04T12:48:00.001-06:00

Hello readers. If anyone is interested in what I've been doing for the last two years, I have added a link to the final draft of my thesis to the right under "Some Recent Papers of Mine." If you care for some light reading before bed, knock yourselves out!

Clashing Landmarks

2010-05-02T10:59:00.003-06:00

Well, two very important things happened this past week. On the same day, I defended my thesis and we celebrated our 5th anniversary. What that means is that one of them suffered for the sake of the other. Unfortunately, because the celebration of our marriage was more flexible, we had to shift that around a bit. We did manage to go out to dinner that night, but we'll have to make more of a fuss when our schedules calm down in a couple of weeks. It's nearly unbelievable how fast time has flown over these 5 years. We've been through a lot of ups and downs, sleepless nights and bouts of mono, poorness and abundance, and the amazing experience of becoming parents. I'm glad to have a dedicated partner in everything life throws at us.

I did pass my defense, with some small changes in my thesis. I took care of those on Friday and should be able to turn in the final draft tomorrow. Then it's just about 3 weeks until graduation! I also end my practicum at the prison this week, so that will free up a lot of time for me. I still do the research at the women's prison down there, but that will take only a few hours now. As things slowly ease up, we will hopefully have a few minutes to breathe!

Sand Stars

2010-04-25T12:03:00.008-06:00

Nearby, there's a little playground on top of a large sandbox. Avey has been fascinated with sand since she first touched it and, consequently, we end up covered in sand several times throughout the week after heading over to the playground. As her fascination has continued, we have tried to come up with more ways to enjoy the sand than her just handing us fistfuls of it (on a side note, the other day she gave me some sand and said, "When you ready to paint with all the colors of the wind," resembling a scene in Disney's Pocahontas [beginning at minute 3]). We bought her a little plastic shovel and bucket at the dollar store a while back, and it came with a little mold shaped like a star. Avey has enjoyed making shapes in the wet sand (she often asks me to draw dogs and smiley faces) and so it occurred to me that we could take it another step. We have a huge bucket of plastic cookie cutters of which we will never be able to adequately make use, so we let her pick out six of them to take to the sandbox with us. She picked out two bunny shapes, a butterfly, a heart, a flower, and a ghost that looks like a piggy if you turn it on its side. They work very well and it has become part of the daily routine to go to the sandbox and make what she calls "sand stars." The other kids at the playground invariably come over to check out what we're doing and beg to try it out too. Avey's become quite the popular toddler in the sandbox.

In other news, I defend my thesis tomorrow (cross your fingers) and we celebrate our 5-year anniversary, Kira's professional license came in the mail, and my little sister moved back home for the summer! Avey's glad for another fan in town, and we're excited to have another babysitter! Plus we like her anyway.

Role Playing

2010-04-18T09:50:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I wonder if Avey reads this blog when we're not looking. A couple of days after the last post, she seemed like she had moved on from the imaginary world where we are all characters from The Great Mouse Detective. Instead, she decided that we would all be assigned characters from another classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. You may be guessing that Avey assigned herself the role of "Snow White," right? That's what I expected. It seemed the natural fit; After all, Snow White is limitlessly kind, "very so polite," the archetype of "girly," sings in a pitch barely audible by humans, would let animals in the house without thinking about factors like rabies, eats whatever apples we give her (as long as there's peanut butter), and so on and so forth.

But somehow, my little princess decided that there was a better fit for Snow White in the home: no, not her mother - her dear daddy! I was shocked and rather disturbed to say the least. Kira ended up with the most random assignment from the movie. Of all the characters, she was cast as "a bird." Not sure what that's all about. Now, with these odd matches, you may wonder who Avey thought she, herself, was most like. Well, we were surprised to find that Avey began referring to herself as "the Queen." That's right - the evil, vain, scheming queen! I frankly don't see any similarities between the two:

Well, maybe if I imagine the Queen listening to "If You're Happy and You Know It" I can start to see it. No matter how evil you are, you can't help but clap and shout "Hooray!"

Personae

2010-04-11T18:58:00.003-06:00

A while back, Avey watched Monsters, Inc. and a few days later started calling me "Kitty," after the colorful and mild-mannered character. She naturally referred to herself as "Boo," and (per my suggestion) began calling her dear, sweet mother "Mike Wazowski." Kira has not been too thrilled about that one.

As fate would have it, Avey became obsessed with another movie a few weeks ago: The Great Mouse Detective. Kira had better luck this time, as she was dubbed "Basil," the hero of the movie, and Avey's most recent idol (with her ever-budding enunciation, she calls him "Dazzle" half the time). Avey has been the damsel in distress, "Olivia," for several weeks, and the obvious choice for me was "Flaversham," Olivia's nerdy, helpless, but caring father.
Yeah, I suppose she's a pretty good judge of character, even at 2-and-a-half. Every morning when she says over the monitor that it's time to get up, I walk into her room and she greets me with "Flaversham!" And when Kira picked her up from nursery today, she was met with "Basil!" It's all in good fun; I just hope that someday I can work my way up the father-figure-as-portrayed-in-animated-films ladder. Maybe someday I can be likened to Marlin in Finding Nemo, only not as afraid to let go. And with a little more sense of humor. And be able to read. And have arms and legs. And have some kind of super powers.

Well, or maybe she'll just like me for me. But I'd still like to have those super powers...

Annual Egg Search

2010-04-04T14:29:00.003-06:00

Every year around this time, we get together with family and go looking around for eggs outside. No, nobody owns chickens; these are special eggs filled with treats. This year was a little more fun as Avey just happens to be one year older than the last time, so she was a little more excited about it:

Avey had the best time coloring the eggs with Kira. She wasn't as thrilled to fill them with treats with me for some reason - probably because we weren't eating the treats.

Not much news otherwise. I'm swamped with everything going on, and my thesis defense is coming up, so I should probably start thinking about what to write about. Kira's been busy with the Easter Cantata, a big fundraiser for Girls' Camp, and an upcoming presentation on Depression in Youth. The fun just never seems to end at the Ricks Household!

Actual Post

2010-03-28T14:18:00.004-06:00

Okay, let's get serious people. No more excuses. I have some stuff to write about this week. As you will recall from last week's "post," it was Spring Break for the last few glorious days. We didn't get nearly as much R&R time as we had hoped, and we were planning on going to the zoo on Wednesday, but the weather decided it would rather give us the biggest snow storm of the season. True to Colorado, however, Avey and I were able to go on a picnic not 2 full days prior:

It was the nicest day we'd had in a very long time, and has thoroughly got me in a Spring mood (even though the grass still looks horrid).

We also had the chance to make a lot of changes around the apartment. We got a bigger desk for the living room, finally repaired Avey's changing table, Kira and a friend tackled her stack of boxes of stuff to sort/throw away, and I have been on a kick of organizing all of our loose ends into totes. I think I may have late-onset obsessive compulsive disorder. In reality, it's probably more of a Spring cleaning mood around the house.

We were still bound to work this week, and I spent Thursday in prison again (but they let me out whenever I want). Still, it was a pleasant and productive week. I don't know why we don't have 3 or 4 Spring Breaks every year!

Writer's Block

2010-03-21T10:03:00.003-06:00

One of the difficulties of keeping a regular blog is that I expect to post, even when I don't have anything to write about. Seven days pass and if nothing blog-worthy has happened, I'm in trouble. Of course, it's not usually that nothing has happened, but I think the problem is that I don't remember anything that happened during the week. We get into our routines and the days all blend together with previous weeks. And I'm running out of ways to demonstrate how Avey gets cuter every week - I don't even have any new video or photos! I hesitate to write about the weather, even though it was awfully diverse this week. There's not much going on with our health, so no need to even waste a sentence on it. No - that would be boring.

So yeah... Maybe I should just stop typing. If there's nothing to type, there's not much point in doing it. This post still seems kind of short though. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.

Oh, Spring Break is next week! Yeah, so that will give me some material to write on. Next week. Ummm... we're excited for it... should be nice...

Ups and Downs of Parenting

2010-03-13T19:03:00.004-07:00

I'm certainly no veteran, but I've had about 2 and a half years of parenting experience. If nothing else, I've learned that this territory comes with a veritable roller coaster of emotions and experiences. At times, a child can bring you as high as a kite:

[Although the slight breeze wasn't cooperating very much]. And at other times, it seems like your child is just trying to kick your supports out from under you:

But of course, it's all in good fun. And we wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything!

Travelling Researcher

2010-03-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

I've lived in Colorado since I was 10 years old (minus a few years in Germany and Utah). But I've seen more of the state in the past week than all those other years combined. I started another research project funded by NDRI comparing two forms of the same relapse prevention protocol. I supervise a computer class in the morning, and then I teach a classroom-style class in the evenings. Both are with female inmates being held in Pueblo, so I'm there all day. In between the classes, I continue my practicum at a facility for men. Those combined keep me in prison pretty much all day on Thursday. But in order to begin the research, I've had to go to two trainings: one in Denver, and the other in Trinidad. So I've been all over the place in the last few days, and I can't wait until somebody invents those transporters from Star Trek so that I'll never have to drive anywhere ever again!

Avey and Kira have been good sports though. Sometimes while I'm gone, Avey will go on bear hunts:

By the sound of her story, I'm kind of surprised that she still goes on the hunts so much. Not to mention how surprised I am that she can swim across a whole lake!

And so we've all been swamped these days. I keep thinking that things will eventually slow down, but I've been saying that for years. At least it's a wild ride!